d30 mutation table

Print PDF SO its dead quiet here at the end of the world and I have nothing I would be rather doing right now than typing another mutations table. But like a d30, another hundred just wasn't happening tonight.
It will be my jeweled malign gift to you all, in the time of the Fat Man. Like beetles in tiny gold suits, centipedes drenched in honeys, flowers of small broken skulls,  these are the things that spill from
my cornucopia horn, upon your up turned faces lips parted and eyes closed from the light of TOILETWORLD

I'm here listening to the machines hum and trying to cramp the Feng Shui into d&d all because I liked the feats but thought they had boring names.

01 At your elbow your arms split into 3 forearms. If you use an additional light weapon to one you are already using , um.. roll both weapon's dice for damage and keep the highest? Or do some kind botch ass 3 edition double weapon thing mechanic

02 Tiny gaping baby bird heads sprout along your collar bone, eyeless and silently cheeping.

03 You face and body is smooth like a cheap manikin, with "normal features" existing on it as a flat but vivid images.
 
04 All your body fluids will glow in the dark if exposed to oxygen

05  Your spine is ridiculously flexible. You now sleep curled up like a rattle snake. This gives you a +2 dodge bonus to your a.c

06 When completed submerged in warm or cold (but not hot) water you freeze solid and go into a staisis state until removed from the water and left to thaw for an hour

07 You can invert your stomach out of mouth like a frog, thus, (also like a frog) allowing you to excavate its contents manually. This allows you a new fortitude save againest something that's fucking with you that you ingested, or at least avoid secondary damage

08 YOu have a big tight mass along your spine and back of neck. This allows you to generate a powerfult eletric jolt like the famous electric eel! ie shocking grasp once a day. The day after a day that you don't use this power you get head aches, mild hallecanations and a 1 in 8 chance of a epilitic fit . Also? you can only use this power if you are really scared or angry.

09 Your urethra protrudes from your body encased in a hand span length of sensitive tissue
Gills. On your neck, that open and allow you to breath some kind of poison gas. Anytime you are exposed to a poison gas roll a d8, on a 8 that's a type of gas you can breathe to no ill effect.

10 Any opening in your body (eyes, ears, mouth etc) closes over with skin when you sleep, and every morning you must cut them open if you want to use them. The skin is thin, and bleeds little, but hurts still. The skin is still permeable to air

11 You may blow a shimmery bubble of muscus from your mouth. This bubble drifts at your urging , reaching a chosen location up to mile per cha point. When it reachs this loaction, it pops and 3 sentences of your voice are audible. The bubble moves at a brief walking pace

12. Instead of blinking, tongues insinuate themselves from your tearducts and lick your eyes clean.

13 You sweat a sweet smelling dust of a dull metallic hue instead of the usual

14 Your teeth are small bone pointed worms , writhing slowly

15 THe centre of your chest is a blacked gnarled ruin of bone and hair with red maddend eyes and thick tusks. If you forgo chest armour you can make an unarmed bite attack for a d10 damage

16 You hair is constantly in motion as if there was a stiff breeze or shit ass shampoo commeical

17 You always know which direction is north and crave small amounts of rust in your food

18 Flowers shoot, bloom and die in ten second cycles on the undersides of your arms. This, of course, allows you to restore 1d4 hit points per level if you eat the still warm heart of someone whos name you know.

19 +2 constitution  when you are at least 10 feet below the earths surface. Not being in contact with a solid surface is agonizing for you and you suffer -2 on all rolls. You feet are now like crude hooves of meat and bone.

20 Everytime you take electrical damage that is equal or higher to your constitution you change sex.

21 You body can concertina  on itself allowing you to fit into space a 5th of your size, if you spend a round "compacting"

22 Your skin hangs off your body in great sloughing sheets. If some of this skin is taken, and ploughed into the earth, nothing will grow there for a year and a day, and after then strange trees with malign fruit.

23 You can roll your eyes back in your head and watch your thoughts hump. Reroll a failed knowledge check per day per point of inteligence modifirer , minimum of one

24 Thy neck is liketh the giraffe, being at least half your body length again.

25 Your skin is furloughed and trenched in a elaborate labyrinthine patterns.

26 You have a long forked tongue of bright, dizzying hue. You can "taste" spoken words, and lies taste sweet, while the truth bitter. +6 to sense motive checks.

27 Your chin curves and tapers to a hard bone point, like a Egypt fake beard, or the business end of a spider wasp. If you jab this into a tree, you can hear the trees "thoughts" , as "speak with plants"

28 A canal like network of cartilage tubes runs under your ears, throat and jaw line, leading to your nose, which is flared and vaulted. Twice a day , you can spend up to your constitution score in rounds producing bizarre fluting  with this, just above and below normal hearing range. Everyone but you in 60 feet must fortitude save every round your play or become nauseated for as long as you "play" . D.c is 10 + twice your level

29 The fingers on your hands end in tiny hands, the fingers of which also end in tiny hands


30 A hour after your body lies cold and dead, your torso cracks like an egg, and out you pop in miniature. Play on brave hero, but be advised you are a size category smaller, and your str and con are reduced by 2 and your dex increased by 2. This may happen twice more, and only can happen if your body is mostly intact.



The current scrap fabric monster is a Red dragon and I'm dragging my feet coz dragons have such a strong visual identity and detail it seems not fun. I also should be making doubles of the cooler ones made already for a exhibition to  sell, but I'm finding it difficult to remake something I've already made, unless directly asked.