FLAILSNAIL out of town item side effects

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flail snails item/power malfunction

When someone whips out an ability or  item in your Flailsnails game and you just don't feel like flat out ruling it does not work but you wanna make them sweat a bit.

base chance it malfunctions  1 in 6
modified by what ever number you like or use the following
How much does random bullshit work in my campaign
Random bullshit is atlas, holding it all aloft : +0
I take a little convincing. Not much, but a little: +1
We work for our fun here we does. +2
I'm kind addicted to drinking player tears +3

Also add another +0 to +5 based on how much effort  the ability in question is going to make you do / how over powered it seems.

Reroll anything that does not suit your setting

1. mutation! 50/50 or your target.
2. bubbles instead of talking for a hour
3. slow motion as slow spell for 1d4 X10 rounds
4.grease effect on you
5.you polymorph each round for 1d20 rounds
6.you swell up like a balloon, as levitation but take triple damage for piecing
7. effect is reversed
8. you bleed excessive from eyes for half a hour, suffering -1 on any rolls regarding targeting
9.scatter diagram to determine new target, can travel 20 feet or half its maximum range , which ever is further
effect does not happen until 1d4 round later. Lets hope you are not looking down the barrel when it does
10.half strength
11.effects you as well
12.effects random target
13.effects only you
14.You are the target of a continual  light spell, that oscillates wildly between various colors. Lasts an hour
15.roll again but results kicks in a hour later
16.Item / ability destroyed /negated after effect resolves
17.You (the character) have the choice to either take a point of permanent random stat damage or the effect fails
18.For a week you will no longer sustain nourishment from food unless it's prepared by someone who hates you. The character knows this the first time they eat something
19.Dry gangrene sets in a random limb over the next couple of days
20. Weakness (as ray of enfeeblement) and hair loss from the strange energies involved. Lasts a week.
21. Domestic animals utterly loathe you until you leave the campaign world. They will try and kill you if they think they can without loss of their own lives. You also show up as unnatural/evil to any magic sensing stuff
22.All plant life withers and dies instantly around you in 30 feet radius. Any non-magical food or drink spoils as well
23. Massive endorphin rush! Make a save or immediately use the ability or item at the first chance you can.
24.Save or experience overwhelming empathy for target. Effect is permanent without a remove curse. If you are the target become massively introspective for an hour.
25.Lose all memories of your childhood
26.You are unable to see color until you leave this setting
27.Effect fails but you suffer the delusion that it has not.
28.Back lash inflicts 1d4 hitpoints per level, as smoke pours out your ears and you clench you teeth so hard a few of them crack
29.Internal hemorrhaging take 1 hit point damage per hour until magically or advanced healing happens
30.Random sense fails for an hour
31. Random sense becomes intensely over sensitive , disabling but potentially very useful. Lasts a day.
32.Blink randomly for the next 10 rounds.
33. You are turned to stone for an hour.
34.Roll again but the effect is permanent. If that does not make sense or is redundant , the item/ability activates twice instead.
35.You can only gain sustains from eating living creatures until you leave this setting.
36. Slowly begin changing biological sex over the next week
37.You smell delicious to everything around you. Increase random encounters as appropriate
38.Patches of you disappear. This does not seem to trouble you in anyway, unless you get this result twice, in that case save or be disintegrated
39. You become invisible! huzzah. Unfortunately you are blind as well! Lasts ten minutes.
40.Gravity becomes twice as strong on you. Strength counts as half , and double falling damage, and jump ranges/heights. Effect lasts an hour.
41.Item becomes permeant grafted to you in a disgusting and painful process, inflicting 1 damage per level,and  inflicting a -1 penalty for 4 rounds. If effect is due to ability, a relevant body part doubles in size.
42.You are no longer able to understand the languages spoken around you.
43.You smell like grave sauce. A couple of dozen bathes will get rid of this.
44.Vertigo! Allergies! Nausea! as stinking cloud effects on you, lasts 1d10 rounds.
45.Uncontrolable hiccups for the next day.
46. Level drain! one level is sucked away to power the strange magics!
47.Your immune system takes a bad hit. You will automatically fail any saves vs poison or disease until you leave this setting.
48. 1d20 random new species of insects hatch in your body.
49.Terrible sense of foreboding!
50.Lose all memory of the last 1d4 days