Give Me A Myconid And I Will Create A Substandard Version of That Joesph Manola Post About Snakemen

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I GOT THIS PICTURE FROM HERE: IT V.GOOD



This seems like a bad idea already.
This is the post it's riffing on : (。ヘ°)
Except I'm doing it with Myconid

Postulate 1 : Fungus breaks down things
Postulate 2: Fungus can utilize elements from things its breaking down in its growth processes
Postulate 3: Intelligence is among the many elements that can utilized like that
Postulate 4: Myconids got their intelligence this way
Postulate 5: They got this from eating god
Postulate 6: God was everywhere and everything but is increasingly lobotomized by Myconids being smart
Postulate 7: Fungus can utilize elements from one organism  it has already successfully infected in its infection process on another organism

Given these 7 Postulates I will now explain the monster manual!!

ALTHOUGH
I don't really know what postulates are and think I'm going to need a lot more to make this work so lets abandon this pretense now

What I'm saying is the world was full of animals and perfectly ecosystems and god was spread even through its creation but then as fungus broke down matter it eroded the god and become intelligent.
As it spread through out everything it drags various traits from one organism to another.
Its eventual goal is total entropy , an ungodhead nirvana.
Intelligence creates complexity and complexity is an even better way of creating entropy.


Dwarves: Moles + Rocks +  Generic Biped
Elves: Squirrels + Generic Biped + Snakes
Halflings:   Prairie dogs + Generic Biped
Gnomes, Pixies, Quicklings, Leprechauns, and all those others small annoying fairies: 
Insects+ Biped+Single Emotion
Orcs: Pigs + Biped + Hippopotamus/Aggression
Goblins: Bats+ Biped
Hobgoblins/Bugbears: Goblins + ants
Humans: Generic Biped + Termites
Lizard Men:Isopods + Biped
 Kobolds:  Bedbugs  + Biped
Giants: Humans+ Whales
Ogres: Humans + Elephant Seas
Ogre Magi and Hags: Cruelety + Biped
Dragons: Just Grabbing Anything That Murders And Sticking It Together
Trolls:  Remain Spark of Divine Currently Undersiege by Any Negative Physical Trait The Fungus Can find
Demons, Devils, etc:  Insects + Dreams +Appetites of Elements
Dryads: Flower Spider +  Biped
Nymphs: Desire +  Chameleon + Biped
Minotaurs:  Fungus rerouting through next generation bring monstrous traits to the child. The bull form of Minotaur is the most well know one

Mermen and Aquatic Elves: Stingrays + Bipeds
Sahuagin:  As Above but with Teeth Everywhere
Chimeras, Manticores, Harpies, and other apparently pointless 'crossbreed' creatures:  Fungal grab backs trying to  encourage concentrated population and militarism and elevation of violent ideals
Slimes, oozes, gibbering mouthers, etc: liquid + hunger
Ilithids:  Squid + Flatworm + Biped. The brain eating is some kind of parasite cycle involving introspection
Beholders: Just a bunch of eyes from everywhere + concepts such as Destroy , Control , Hurt 
Ghouls: Biped + Saxon/burying Beetle
Yuan-Ti: Actually Avantgrade Herpes
All those giant animals all over the place: animal + localized physics erosion

main take aways:
-Things look like things but don't let the names fool you. Lizardmen are actually more like isopods if you look at them closely
-The nature of reality is made up of elements like hunger, wet, pride etc. Any non-compound noun is probably an element because we can't think further than god.
- Civilization or anything else seen as "progress" is just a fungal conspiracy to speed up entropy
-Everyone and everything contains fungus , your desires fears and dreams are all placed there by fungus to speed up entropy
-the troll is the closest thing to god

Appendix:
 I should of used more of the "animal is an incarnation of pride, lust etc" common to medical allegorys so if you wanna use this you should mine from that
http://bestiary.ca/intro.htm

The Wonderful World Of Symbotic Armour, Fungus

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Cédric Plante drew this amazing pictures for this post!

and a follow up here


Lack of home gaming and disorganization in playing anything regularly like online , plus the bizarre swellings of on-going projects have left me feeling pretty hesitate to just pour stuff on here like I have being doing.

But in the interest of maintaining the current inertia , I asked on g+ for some ideas for a blog post.

The one I choose was  Tom Middlemurk's Jeremy Duncan's one for more species of symbiotic armours. This might be a series, because I have more notes.

FUNGUS:
okay I have already done this one, but I still like it and you should go and look at it again, because I'm referring to it below

Advantages: Self Repairing, protection from physical attacks, hitpoint "loans"

Possible enhancements: Spore Weapons (poison, percussive, choking), regeneration, breathing filters, autopilot in the case of extreme mental/physical distress or subjugation

Disadvantages: risk of being usurped , might be a strain that has a "take control of nervous system and make body climb as high as possible before rupturing it with spore delivering stalks" cycle of life. Or a stage of life that involves being eaten by something, and will effect your behaviour to make that happen.

Who can hook a girl up? Myconids, Fungal Cultists, Fungus elementals, wind blown infections, previous owners  now deceased, worryingly evangelical current owners sharing starter kits (in the style of  Kombucha teas)

Specific Strains:
The Destroying Angel:
Spores on the wind make contact physical and psychic with the dying and vengeful.
Destroying Angel will bond with the willing and give regeneration , weird slabby mushroom plate, and make them count as a fungus for mind effecting effects.

In exchange after the mission is complete it will ask to go to somewhere high where it can convert  the bearer into a large fruiting structure and disperse its spores.

The Candle-Snuff :
Sometimes found in the wild. Appear as over-lapping  black and grey circles on the hosts skin with fine translucent hairs . Anti-photosynthesizes converting both the darkness and the psychic energy in the straining to perceive something in the darkness into fuel/food for both it and the host. Feeding too long on one patch of darkness will convert it to another type of darkness
 
The Amethyst Deceiver:
Carefully grown by myconists of slippery characters. Purple, fuzzy matts. Could be mistaken for woolen vests. Interlacing spiracles of keratin mean it counts as leather. The real power of this is a constant release of hallucinogens  that mean the host is remembered differently by everyone they met and everytime they meet.

The Glutinous Gomphidius :
The host will look like a michelin man. Extra 10 hitpoints. Need to eat 4 times as much.