YOUR LETTERS TO DISPLACER KLAUS

Print PDF Dear Displacer Klaus what are somethings that can replace the 4 classes to support distinct synergic playstyles?

HO H O HO HO "SYNERGY" IS ONe OF MY FAVOURITE WORDS

1. Horse, rat, snake, 6 year old human
2. I-phone, clockwork mouse, clawhammer, silly putty
3. Police Station, Cartoon Animal, Captain Hook, Vague Supernatural Phenomena   
4. Time Elemental, Homunculus, Ooze Disguised in Human Clothes, Elderly Fairtale Bear
5.  Captain Picard, Socrates, A computer powered by Snakes, Rasputin 
6. Arson, Shoplifting, Fraud, Regicide 
7. Sherlock Holmes as played by Jeremy Brett, Sherlock Holmes as played by Robert Downey Jnr, Sherlock Holmes as played by Paranoid schizophrenic who is right about everything except being Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes as manga 

DISPLACER KLAUS STRANGLING A UNBORN WORLD

Print PDF HO HO HO IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR WHERE I, DISPLACER KLAUS, ARRIVE TO GIVE YOU ALL THE TABLES YOU EXPLICITLY STATED NOT TO WANT



Treasure tables with +1 swords and whatnot.

 1. Several geese in their crops are tiny knights with +1 swords. Their crests are known and they are missing
2. Chest of Rich Rich Rich soil and a +1 sword with a unblemished severed hand clutching it
3. A pool of glass eyes and a +1 sword at the bottom
4. Mercury coloured honey with a +1 sword stuck in it
5. 30 metres of red coral chain wrapped around the +1 sword it joins at the pommel
6.Rare and difficult papers. one with diagrams on how to fold it into a plus one sword


I once saw a table that told you the outcome of a night on the town.
1. You are on the moon
2. You are a new moon
3. You have a tattoo of the moon
4. The moon has send for you
5.You are now in world similar to the one you were but there is neither you or the moon here
6.You know what the moon knows now and forever


Trait/ideals/bonds/flaws.
1. Shirmery
2.Tattymount
3.Giserly
4.Dungtickled
5.Fizzit
6.Bungad



Moderate feelings, i.e. Slightly bored, a bit happy etc
1.Coyly immolated
2.Discretely infantile
3. Tepid disdain
4. Reserved regurgitation
5. Misdirected Apotheosis
6. Apathetic Pig burial

A table where all results are either boring or fatal, with nothing in between.

1. Volcano
2. A cupboard
3.. Lahar
4. Under a bush
5.Lard Tsunami
6.A small cloud

Uninteresting subdivisions of a thing, esp. with no elucidating information.

1 Aristatus
2. Mucronatus
3. Cuspidatus
4.Cirrhosus
5.Pungens
6.Setosus
7. Piliferus
8.Apiculatus
9. Uncinatus
10. Rostratus
11. Acutus
12. Acuminatus
13. Obtusus
14 Obtusus cum acumine
15 Retusus
16 Emarginatus
17. Tuncatus
18 Praemorsus
19 Tridentatus.
20. Hebatatus

YOU COULD LIE DOWN FOR AWHILE PEOPLE WILL THINK THERE IS REASON FOR THIS

Magic swords
1.No-one will Remember it
2. Is Falling Still
3. Has failed its purpose. Thrown out of forever
4. Wakes the fake alive
5.The excrement of a star
6.To wield is to be the rightful ruler of a small pond
7. Suspicious Shovel like
8. Makes a noise like grinding teeth. Weirdly inconstant volume



Dragons
1. The everdevouring eel of the black pig waste. Like a black dragon but rubberey and tiny limbs and it has seven heads and they have consecutively eaten (and can regurgitate ) each other
2. The glistener. A horrible mantis thing like a sun dew plant
3. Moon's Spit. Like seeing a close up of a butterfly face while having a really bad time on a trip. Has a 1000 wings like fairy made flensing knives
4. The Thing At The End. It's at the End of The World. It's too large because it is too close to you and its breathe is your breath and its far way it fills up the horizon.
5.The King Of Poison. A tiny thing. In the middle of a desert. The desert is there because its there.
6.Skyscraper . All barristeral grace of a vulture, flies on hooks that make the sky bleed, you can see its path when the sunsets

DO YOU KNOW WHO AMONGST YOU IS A WIZARD? HAVE YOU CHECKED? WHAT COLOUR WAS IT? HO HO HO


Boring encounters with dull treasures.

1. Some has shot a dog at you. The dog has a silver collar
2. There is a bandit. They have a gold coin and no legs
3. A wolf is after you. Some has fed it a large pearl
4. 5 goblin pursue . They have long finger nails and diamond dust painted on their faces
5.A horse is lost. It is eating a scroll. The scroll is cursed.
6. A Gargoyle is being boiled in copper

Table of player character names.
1. Doug One Thousards
2. Het Stickly
3. Goob Plaguecart
4.Mina Rotriver
5.Solomon Boron Ray
6.Amulee Marrowbore


AM I HERE? THAT IS A MANY SPLENDORED QUESTION AND WRONG

1d20 types of sneeze sounds

1. Like a hot stone dropped in pond of blood
2. Like a bag of sand being slowly ripped
3. 10,000 leaves being crushed in an instant
4. A dog barking very slowly
5.A a great weight of velvet dragged with haste
6. A wheezy crow faking surprise
7. Like iron sheet being ripped
8. A flat trumpet
9. Someone throwing mud at chicken
10. Someone throwing a chicken into mud
11.A lung exploding in dirt
12. An ice cream related ice cream
13 Soup Freezing
14. A large baby inhaling a moth
15. A spilling of plums
16. A large paintbrush has been set on fire
17. A cactus deflating
18. Horse chuckles
19. A pig eating flour
20. Slapping some livers together


1D10 epic backstories for low HD dungeon mooks.

1. Actually a successfully murderous mirror double spy
2. Contains d4 parts of world shattering weapon. Was custom breed to contain them
3.The quintessential version of them. A walking elemental plane of this 1 hd mook aspect. If given a large enough space will grow until the take up a place as a additional plane and element of the universe
4.A fired dimensional munition , a parallel world has commenced war , using stealth bullets of surreptitious calamity . They think they people but through action or unaction will slowly unweave this world
5.A famous missing hero's amnesia'ed reincarnation (via the spell)
6.Escaped Patient Zero of a time plague
7.Has a dead in the womb twin that will possess their body on death and VENGEANCE
8.Lost empire is shrunk and living on their body
9.Early prototype. Unseen being monitor their live and make adjustments to the new version based on its success or lack there of
10. Super long lived nigh unkillable being , is ironically mooking at the moment

Random encounter tables that include entries for mega-mundane creatures (1d3 parrots) in much vaster quantities than fantastical ones, in some attempt at setting verisimilitude.

1. 500 Hedgehog
2. 4 Salmon
3. 10 tiny Giraffe

A MEMORY IS THE PAST SAYING HEY I USED TO LIVE HERE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE I AM SCARED AND COLD

Random places within forgotten realms. 

1. Volcano
2. A cupboard
3.. Lahar
4. Under a bush
5.Lard Tsunami
6.A small cloud


Table of NPC traits.

1. Bright Green
2. Has a umbrella
3. Actually a propped up corpse
4. Now free of parasites
5.Knows 5 words
6.Used to Shrink
7.Has hidden in a chimney
8.Poised

DISPLACERKLAUS: AFTERBIRTH

Print PDF Picking through  the debris of DISPLACERKLAUS :

Plot Bombs: On further thought , the talk of narrative was misdirective and I should of mention how my idea of a "plot bomb" also includes "stuff that the g.m should be lenient with when your character tries this", like if you play a thief , you expect that if you are trying to find a dodgy contact in the bar , you are going to be better at it than the knight, or if you are fighter and you are directing the massive stake trap to blind the cyclops, that is going work out better because that is like a fighter thing.

Basically there is stuff that each class has that is might be too broad or vague to put a exact mechanic on, but if you are writing up a new class or re-writing the intro to an old one, it's nice to put some thought into what the players can expect from each class. Like if I am a wizard and I start mixing random magical fluids stuff I find , am I just as clueless as the guy on the street or will I know when to duck a split second earlier?

This is also a wider thing to reflect on with setting , style and g.m-ness, ie
How much resistance will your players get from you when they try different things?

e.g How Hong Kong can stunts in combat be? How technically do explanations of crafting have to get? How favorable is physics  to your plan? How magic is your rope? Does fighter mean "goon with a stick" or "plausible action hero"?

And how well is that communicated? Or needed to be? Try stuff and see if you die seems to work out okay for most people.


 Kicks: I really get my g.m kicks from communicating a distinct feel about what the players are exploring. Like I'm only having a great time (as opposed to a good time as you generally do when you are co-engaged on an activity with friends) if I feel that some gestalt with the setting came across. Generally achieved if the players start doing stuff just for the purpose of learning about something or effected something that doesn't directly result in numbers increasing.

It's something to be mindful of when I'm prepping stuff, as in the players might be needing other things, like a chance to meaningfully interact with the stuff, or a certain level of challenge.
None of this is particularly at counter-purposes though, in fact overlaps are heaps.
Like if you want people to "experience" the setting make sure you lather in on the moving parts, ie moving parts: stuff that the players can immediately interact with and the consequences  can matter in all kinds of ways.

Like no-one cares what the king is wearing unless than dictates what monster pelts are valuable   , what you can bribe the guards with or how easy it is to trigger open revolt.

Murderhoboism: No idea why this is so interesting to people. Like in it's purest state, like you find stuff and kill it and get treasure. Like if the stuff doesn't do anything if it lives or dies and the treasure is just a way for numbers on character sheet to get bigger, who gives a shit?
I know basically everyone does stuff more complicated than this, but some times I read some post or blog and it's like "hey we killed something for treasure, so crazy".
and I have communicated my dissonance with this right now

 THAT SURE WAS INTERESTING BY THAT I MEAN I WILL TALK OVER THE TOP OF YOU BECAUSE IT WASN'T


oh DISPLACERKLAUS I do cherish and actively conspire against yoTALKING I AM NOW NOW NOWu

Magical tattoo effects!

Any other bearer of this tattoo is an effortless organ donor for all bearers of this particular design. Like literally just cut out their hearts with a knife and shove them in and it will immediately attach and start working 


(certain) Ghosts and Spirits can't see you

Attempts to age or change your form instead effect the depiction of the tattoo

The mouth of its gurning face vomit up any poisons and intoxicates currently in your system if you tickle its belly

People will remember the tattoo but nothing else about you

This depiction of an item or personage will draw you to them through the actions of cruel fates

THE FINAL CASE OF DISPLACERKLAUS

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ONE LAST THING!!! SOMETHING NO ONE WANTED AN AW HACK

oh fuck you. Okay I will do the rest of this post so you don't have to deal with all that red and shouting.






So this thing , where you roll 2d6 and add an attribute and then:


"


7-9 is a partial success; you do it, but there’s


some cost, compromise, retribution, harm, etc.


A total of 10 or more is a full success; you do


it without complication and a total of 12 or


more is a critical success; you do it perfectly


to some extra benefit or advantage.

"


Actually makes for comedy gold. Like whatever dumb thing the players suggest actually has a decent chance of working but just with unintended consequences. Maybe it's like ouja board and with some players it drives it towards tense drama and with everyone I play with the spirits of violent slapstick start ectoting up the place.










But anyway I have sometimes/always impulses to play strange one off sessions of some particular thing and thought I could make something to use for when that strikes.




Okay so I have an idea for a game. I think about what everyone is going to be most grandular interested in , like how strong or faster they are the each other. Or how witty or whatever.




Write down 4 or 5 of them. Those are the stats. Either random or point buy , which either seems to make the most sense.

Should range about -3 to +3.

Those add to that 2d6 roll.


If I decide to use classes each class has a talent. Which is something everyone can do but that class has an edge at doing it.





Talent: SOmething you get a to roll the lowest dice again for. Like fighters doing damage (or attacking?) or rogues sneaking







and the class has a schtick.


Schtick: something you can attempt others cannot, like animal befriending or magic.




Also I like plot bombs. Which is a limited resource that can be exchanged for adding something to the campaign world. Pretty much it something to do with the character though, like representing a shady underworld figures range of contacts or a rangers obscure knowledge of mushrooms. Might still require a roll for success or complications


Plot BOmbs


: 1 point that you spent to get something relevant happening in the game, like having a contact in town or having just the right gadget on you.Also can be thought of formal mechanic for when a player declares they are trying something and you didn't realize that is something people could even try in your campaign until now. More narrative games would have it more "plot twisty" and less "Schrodinger character abilities"


Now the hitpoints or mental health or whatever. Some games might just have one circumstance.





Circumstances: This might be health, wealth ,magicness, mental stability or social standing


. MAYbe a game that was a CAR RACING would have the position race as a form of hitpoints. So taking damage means you just would move from 1st to 3rd or whatever.


Some games would have simple damage others dice rolls or whatever.





when zero some stats are at a disadvantage, (roll the highest die again) and each negative you need to roll something (con or willpower check or ass-kissing) or be out of the game (temp or permanent)




HEre is examples of this. I'm is explaining all this badly because I have distracting with the housing and the giving up caffeine again, and I might be coming round to some of those wacky anarcho-primitivist ideas, so if this blog goes dark for a couple of months I'm prob killing and eating people or painting pagan runes on a sub-station.











Example:


Capcom dungeon fighter


STATS


str: (muscling stuff)


dex: (dodging and throwing stuff)


con: (a formal declaration of rights health and wellbeing)


wits: (perception and reactions and mental audacity)


knowledge (for when your character has being paying attention but you have not)




THIS IS CLASS GAME SO CHOOSE YOUR CLASS oh race well america has a black president so that doesn't matter anymore hahaha no it's race as class


Warrior:


Knack: Violence (to hit rolls.. and maybe damage)


Schtick: Can use all weapons and armour. Especially extremely implausible big or batshit ones


Plot Bombs: armour / weapon crafting. With the right equipment you can make all kinds of booby traps , skin armours and jawbone clubs.





NInja:


Knack: Ninjitsu (acrobatics and hidings)


Schtick: cloud foot stance. All that running along rooftops and up walls shit.


Plot Bomb: Suddenly revealed to be actually hiding or disguise as ____:





Sniper:


Knack: ranged attacks


Schtick:absurd shots


Plot Bombs: Trick arrows





Thief:


Knack: Tampering (pick pockets, sneaking , open locks)


Schtick: in combat thief skills


Plot Bomb:retroactive theft (you can declare you have stolen something that you had the opportunity to steal, but didn't declare you were stealing it at the time)





Wizard:


Knack: obscure knowings


Schtick: Can use spells via scrolls and tomes


Plot Bomb: rare and dangerous experimental wizarding/drug usage ("I will cure my mummy rot by eating this salamander heart" "I will replace my eyes with this basilisks eyes because I am a wizard!")






Dwarf


Knack: Obstinance (against everything from booze to reasonable arguments to head injurys)


Schtick: Stoneken (My dwarven sense is tingling! This is no normal igneous rock! )


Plot Bomb: ancient dwarven grudges ("I am spending a plot bomb point to declare my clan has an ancient dwarven grudge against the forest gnomes of lesser dunwichen")





Elf


Knack: forestken


Schtick:doing everything anyone else can do but in a shite elven way aka mary sue race


Plot Bomb: obscure elven resistances and talents





Cleric


Knack:Morale


Schtick:Healing and wardings


Plot Bomb: Minor Divine interventions and guidance





Gadgeteer


Knack:engineering


Schtick: Useful devices


Plot Bomb: mcgyvering





Barbarain


Knack::Violence (as Fighter)


Schtickliving without pants


PlotBomb:Epic Flip outs





CIRCUMSTANCES:


Health (hitpoints )


Soul (spend to power spells , magic items and attacked by certain creatures)


Money (used to buy stuff and sleeping elsewhere from the gutter. Reducing by day to day life, legal problems, social assassinations and spending it on stuff)



WELL THIS IS FUN NOW FOR ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING WITHOUT CLASSES AND EVEN LESS EXPLANS BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ALSO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SYSTEM YOU WROTE FOR THIS ALREADY?


Dunno, I can't remember it all off by heart so it can't be that good right? Also making definite statements about the future is stressful.






MERMAID PROM

stats:

Callousness (how not to care about open wounds and lost friendships)

Underhandedness (petty theft , grand larceny , and casual deceit )

Nastiness (knowing how to hurt people both verbally and physically)

Talent (knowing how to make bombs and outfits and where to buy ingredients for both)

Sexitude (how to use what mother spawned on you)


No classes just pick on of each, so these are things everyone can do , but you get an edge at doing it





Knacks:


reading


stealing


destruction


booby traps


shopping


flirting


threats


empathy


cruelty


arson


deviance


poisonings


Advanced Outfit Repair


Schticks allow you to do things or do things in ways that no-one else can:





Rich


Bat shit


Mutant


Heart Destroyer


Bullet proof naivety


Thug


Does Not Give A Shit


and choose a plot bomb


Plot Bombs:


Gadgets


Extensive and sordid past


Big family


Crazy Prepared


Imposter!


Black Mail Dossier


Faustian Pacts


Drama Maelstrom


Chaos Magnet


All the Drugs




Circumstances are:

health, social standing ,and self esteem

Being reduced to zero in any of them means you can't act that session.




Okay well I hoped no-one enjoyed that. I don't know when I will use this. Lack of play and ongoing projects have made feel even more burned out than usual. Dissatisfied with everything etc. That bird is loud and looking at me funny. Atleast it has stopped raining. I kicked a hedgehog last night. Not on purpose. It was a dark and I did not see it. We have bumble bees , hedgehogs , possums and rabbits here because some thought this should be the beatrix potter colony. In another 100 year feral cats will be as big as panthers in australia. If I start making hedgehogs swim will they become pufferfish?IT IS THE SEASON

DISPLACERKLAUS IN THE MYSTERY OF THE DISPLACERKLAUS

Print PDF THWUMP. OH LOOK AT THAT IT IS A D104 TABLE OF POCKET CONTENTS, EXPLANATIONS, PLOT DEVICES, CLUES, LANDMARKS AND SETPIECES
If the first roll doesn't make sense just keep rolling and combining the results until an ungodly mess results?  TIS THE SEASON FOR UNGODLY MESSES! 

1. Upside down castle 
2. Bowl of brains 
3. Rogue Glacier 
4. Oversized key 
5. Crude desperate map 
6. Candles 
7. Shark's teeth 
8. Wooden sword 
9. Ghosts 
10. Frozen lake 
11. Old Coins 
12. String 
13. Cup of wine 
14. Manta rays 
15. Barbed leather 
16. Clock tower 
17. Melted Sand Dunes 
18. Misshapen faces 
19. Owls 
20. Lists 
21. Whispering poison 
22. Implausible pits 
23. Firetraps 
24. Bee people 
25. Hungry Streets 
26. Wind machine 
27. Dark engine 
28. Very old people 
29. Ill stars 
30. Slime Princess 
31. Child gangs 
32. Vomiting statues 
33. Bored angels 
34. Boiling water 
35. Boar 
36. Tiny wings 
37. Bag of soot 
38. Shallow pools 
39. The moon 
40. Very new blood 
41. Hollow trees 
42. Barking men 
43. Needles 
44. Crone's eyes 
45. Bronze Tortoise 
46. A great drill 
47. Tar 
48. Half a mouse 
49. Gut strung harp 
50. Dried frogs 
51. Angry mob 
52. Strange Lights 
53. Tradition 
54. Strays 
55. Widows 
56. Razor Webs 
57. Directions 
58. The Tanner 
59. Snakes 
60. Snail shell 
61. Obsidian mirror 
62. Bitter seeds 
63. Bone chair 
64. Scraps of a dress 
65. Titan Arch 
66. White Coral 
67. Mud 
68. Mockery Jungle 
69. Plague House 
70. The End 
71. Withered plains 
72. Silver Road 
73. Red Sign 
74. Black Rainbow 
75. StormClouds 
76. Chain 
77. Heart 
78. Flies 
79. Bakers 
80. King's Grave 
81. Golem's script 
82. Pig's tail 
83. Tin Crown 
84. Echo 
85. Knapped Flint 
86. Spices 
87. Squid Beak 
88. Cage Door 
89. Lilies 
90. Coal 
91. Spider Milk 
92. Bog Whistle 
93. Finger nails 
94. Penny Dreadful 
95. Urn 
96. Talisman 
97. Game Piece 
98. Forgotten ring 
99. Pearls 
100. Careful remembrance 
101. Mourning 
102. Pins 
103. Bells 
104. Cord 

RETURN OF DISPLACERKLAUS

Print PDF HO HO HO HO
I BROUGHT YOU SOME MAGIC WEAPONS

1.Hammer Of Solutions +2 , this +2 bonus only applies when used on skill checks where a hammer is a completely daft thing to use

2.Sword of the North. Always points north

3.Handaxe of wood, chopping. It's made of wood but can still be used for chopping as a normal axe

Oh fuck are all these going to be lame punnish eye rolling garbage that used to pad up dragon and every other substandard tstr publication ?

SHHHH CHRISTMAS IS HAPPENING LITTLE ONE
I will suplex you

4.Tome Of War: it's a book on strategy that when a lever on its spine is pulled it extends a chain and teeth and then becomes pretty much a bear-trap / flail hybrid

5. Tongue gun: It's a fleshly looking tube that can be surgeryed  into your tongue so you can shoot poison darts (actually teeth that start growing in your tongue) from your mouth and suck up poison for the darts. With extreme care, because if the poison goes anywhere other than the tube, it's still poison

6. Arrows, Piscine Doom: These arrows turn into sharks a moment before impact

Sharks are not fish. YES BUT THEY ARE DOOM TO FISH okay yeah point HO H O HO

7. Crawling dagger: This dagger is alive and its trust and love must be earned like that of a pet. It will become soft like a large slug and crawl rapidly along your body, thus eluding any search for weapons. Also if it has tasted someone's blood and you know their name you can send it after them to crawl down their throat and cause vast internal ruin

8. Morning Star, Luciferous: This is made of some kind of fantasy magnesium that acts like steel except  you can light the head of it and it burns really hot and bright but will be consumed after 3d6 rounds.
Pretty sure that is a tautology . And do you mean ball and chain morning star or a spikey mace morning star . THE BALL AND CHAIN ONE BECAUSE THOSE ARE GRAND AND DON'T PRETEND YOU CARE ABOUT TAUTOLOGY 
9.Pestle of Gore: This is large pestle that can be used as a tetsubo. As a coup de grace action you can reduce any corpse within reach into a conventionally necromatically unusable paste 

Down From The Chimney His Sack Burst Forth

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Manticore is nearly here. Manticore brings people the things they dare ask for. DISPLACERKLAUS  however just brings shit no-one asked for.

no but seriously I'm doing this thing and I hate it and I'm not allowed to go on rambling incursions of pure bullshiting campaign speculation until I finish this thing. I fucking hate this thing. I have included pangolins so it's getting better.

For now DISPLACERKLAUS will fill in for me

H O HO HO I AM  DISPLACERKLAUS AND I'M NOT QUITE WHERE YOU THINK I AM 

HERE IS SOME VERY GOOD 

RPG TITLES

INFINITY PIG

Rod-Harvest

Melancholy in Sodom

Japes and Jackalweres

ManyGnome

The Bright Beast That Was

Devil's Bigness

Acclaims and Adverses 

Bogs and Bogs and Mud

Tome of Feuds

Ripe Tower

Hellbard

DIRTYPOOR

Night's Black Bosom 

Zharkz

Unbounded

Special Lady of War

Woeful Pits

Squalid Depths

Mad Giants Of Galaxy

REEKS OF MARS

PlagueWulves of the Unearth 

The Humongous 

what else do you have DISPLACERKLAUS?

RHYMING STUFF WITH ANIMAL NAMES TO MAKE MONSTERS!

A RANDOM TABLE

wow that is truly unwanted

1 Pikepike!

that is the first one and already it doesn't rhyme and some else made that joke

H O H O HO HO I STEAL AND LIE

2 Spear Bear!

3 Fog Frog!

4 Road Toad!

5 Mat Cat!

none of these deserve exclamation marks DISPLACERKLAUS

6 Mocktopus!

that's more of a punning word substitution  

7.Door Boar!

8.Chisel Horse!

9. Grappling Chicken!

10. A Bag of Wet Mice!

11. 2d6 goblins

12. flour

13. Hawk Stork!

this is going well DISPLACERKLAUS, so well. What else do you have?

THIS SOCIETY MAKES THE FOLLOWING ITEMS FROM BREAD!!

1.shoes.

2.doors

3.guard dogs

4. books

5. sling stones

6. hats

7. spouse lures

8. lower intestines

9. pauldrons

10.economic system

why all these tables are fucking stupid DISPLACERKLAUS

H O H O HO HO IM REALLY SLIGHT BESIDE WHERE YOU THINK I AM

REASONS THIS GHOST IS A GHOST

1. Ironic Suicide Pact Wager Contract

2. Murdered while impersonating a corpse

3. Drunk themselves to death. Literally, stuck a straw in a vein and slurped their way to death

4. The priest gave them shit directions to the afterlife

5. Actually an animated snowman made of ectoplasm

6. Legs fell off

7. Allergic to own skin

8. Shat heart out

9. Flying machine

10. Internal burial

11. bard

that's kind of an improvement

MUSIC!

WEAPONIZED INSTRUMENTS!

fuck you

1. Tuba launches squids

2. Organ fires blazing souls

3. Violin lacerates random target when played hard enough to break strings

4. Drums that explode

5. Flute that shoot poison needles

6. Piano that has extendable hammers when keys are pressed

BUUUH I'M ALREADY SICK OF THAT

NOW FOR A MECHANIC TO RESOLVE SEX IN RPG...

HAHAHHA HAA NO, EVEN I CAN'T GIVE A PRESENT THAT UNWANTED

POINTLESS ISLANDS!

1. The island of Crying Ducks

2.  The island of spare legs

3. The island of hot snow

4. The island with an ecosystem entirely made from centipedes

5. The island of geological unlikely rocks

6. The island of the pretend wizard

7. The island of miniature brontosaurus 

8. The island with low cloud cover

9. The island with the small volcano

10. The island where people bury their shadows

11. The island with upside down trees

12. The island that rains diamond

13. The island that smells like gas

14. The island that is entirely edible

15. The island that follows you

WELLL I'M NEARLY DONE FOR THE NIGHT JUST GOT THIS MONSTER LEFT:

CIMIM :

THEY ARE  LIKE MIMICS BUT THEY ALWAYS  TURN INTO SOMETHING REALLY UNLIKELY TO BE IN THE ENVIRONMENT 

I coulda sworn Cimim's already showed up in a post. Where did you get them from DISPLACERKLAUS?

H O H O HO HO I'LL JUST SEE MYSELF OUT OR WILL I BECAUSE I'M 3 FEET TO WHERE I THINK I AM?!?!

get out