Sunday, 23 August 2015

Regular Folks Doing Regular Jobs Regular Like

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So there was Shepards that wore stilts to see further and handle the terrain in Landes, I thought of them when writing about Opiliones.

And if you got to mention some people in the background of your campaign why not have something slightly fantastic about their vocation.


Weird, Plausible:
1.Stilt walking

2.Alternate animals; extra furry to the point of absurdity
  4.Highland Cows

3.To chase wayward stock use 2 hooks attached together with a rope. One is thrown to catch into the fur the other is let go  to drag firm into the ground. This would be weaponized at some point in rebellions or adventures from such origins.

4.Each shepard has a particular sequence of wild-flower fields to take the animals to resulting in a colouration of the wool distinctive to that shepard. New colours are tried periodically to supplement each clan's "Classics". The resulting feuds from allegations of "colour stealing" are terrible and bloody.

5. Generations alternate between warfare and shepherding.  The slain are believed to be reincarnate as sheep , the more sheep that can looked after the more enemys slain by your father.
One human soul is split up into multiple sheep souls but exact ratio of human souls to sheep souls is variable and argued to whatever number makes the shepard's ancestral war deeds seem more impressive

6. Shepherds will not mention numbers or count near sheep , so they will never learn they have numerically advantage. They will very angry with those who do.

Weird , implausible :

1.Wield amber on a stick. Rubbing their charges (that's a pun) with it builds up enough static electricity to zap wolves , bandits , and organ thieving parrots

2.Feed iron to stock to get steel wool, knitted into a cheap, less effective chainmail variant

3. Sheep are for show and to keep the grass down as security visibility measure. The wool here is actually back combed spider silk. The spiders are kept inside the fort-like homes and feed the second born in reviled and secret tradition.

4. Animals have one side's legs shorter than the other so they can stand upright on hills, but only go one direction.

5. Beehives built onto sheep. Efficient!

6. White Sheep are herded at day and black sheep at night. Makes sense.


Weird, Plausible:
1.Will trade for unusual hair to weave additionally into a net, this can catch wish granting Fish Princes looking for brides , or at least their servants scouting for them.

2. Claim to never fish when the moon is full or absent. Actually do but wearing masks. They catch some weird ass fish during this time and fear vengeance from the fishes relatives. A form of supernatural revenge by these people is to arrange one of these fish to be served to an enemy in public. If the enemy compliments the quality of the fish , it is believed that the fishes family will find out and send their agents after the diner.

3.Complicated family traditions about who fishes with nets, who scours for clams, and who harpoons eels. The 3 fishing styles are where the 3 dueling styles (Net and short club, Armour and Knife, Harpoons in waist  deep black water) of the region have come from.

4. Tattoo a scale on themselves for each fish they catch. When fully covered they are meant to drown themselves but it's hard to prove if some has Completely covered themselves and this is a source of banter about just how much "area" is available for tattooing in one's breeches.

5. Wreckers. Religion has loophole for cannibalism about anything coming out of the sea being a fish so will eat the causalities of the shipwrecks they cause. A fat fisherman is slang in regions nearby for a cannibal.

6.Elaborate fish mazes are made out of sticks to filter and sort the fish through them. This skill is also used to make various terrible drowning traps around the rivers and banks nearby , as these people are fiercely defensive about their patches
  Weird , implausible :
1.Walk beneath the waves with a spear, stone shoes and a breathing hose.

2.Trade family members with one species of fish  , who they never eat. Bloody feuds with those that do
3. Replace their teeth with sharp fish and shark teeth. Constantly trading and swapping and argueing merits of this over that.

4. Have Changeover houses mounted on stilts on the foreshore. Everything of the land (tools and clothing) is swapped for an equivalent made from things from the ocean before going out fishing.

5.Each family has their own droning dirge they sing constantly when working. This renders them invisible to most random monster encounters.

6. A ongoing war between the fishers that use shags and those who use otters.


Weird, Plausible:

1.Cattle is painted to render them invisible to spirits . Not that spirits eat cows. They eat people. So the farmers dress like cows. It's important that the spirits don't have something to compare the costume to though.

2. Unusual animal:
   1. Capybara
   2. Dodo
   3. Tortoise
   4. Giant Snail
   5. Some kind of vegetarian dog that looks like a pug but worse
   6. Pig-Eel. It combines the worse , ornery features of both and lives in trash filled mud trenches

3. Keep attaching more and more bells, windchimes and amulets  (often made from dug up  rusted artifacts from all the old battlefields around this area) to the horns and necks of their herds. To the point that is sounds like John Zorn composition . 

4. Attach balloons and kites to their herds horns so they can see them along way off.

5.  Have to have a champion defeat the cattle's biggest bull in hand to hand combat each year before they can slaughter any. Will outsource.  Mainly an excuse to gamble.

6.  Make a beer from the strained water of the cattle shit. It's revolting but basically the only thing that repels the disease carrying ticks and worms here. If they don't like you (and complaining about the taste or smell is a sure way of pissing them off) they will charge horrendously for it.
Weirdly enough they are more favourable to someone who obviously hates the taste but is making a huge effort to pretend they are not, than they are to someone who enjoys the taste. They assume the later is just a really good liar, and shouldn't be trusted. I mean have you tried this stuff? No-one could like it!

Weird , implausible :

1. Bladders attached to butts of cattle collect methane which they sell/ trade to whoever needs a bunch of methane in your campaign.  Attend to herds in balloons with lassoing the leader and caroling with sling stone 

2. Abnormal Meat Harvesting Practices:
   1: Cows eat weird glowing plants. Get tumours. Herders remove and grow tumours. Various        methods of growing the tumour as big as possible before it gets too gristly . Much competition and    bullshit between herders about this. Cows tend to have be really good healers from the amount of    surgery they survive.
  2:Feed cattle crazy magic stuff so they become meat eating and ravenous and point them at their     hated neighbours . Cattle back on the pounds due to all the protein and die of heart attacks and then  eaten
  3:Inject digestive enzymes and suck out delicious , portable, long keeping cow slurry 
  4:Cut off heads and keep bodies underground with neck partially sewn up over winter.  Whole family has to take turns chewing cud and spitting down the neck. Only way to protect cattle from Yetis

3. Every 30th cow is a spider disguised as cow. They don't eat the cows or the herders and balloon off after a year. No-one knows why they do this , but it's good luck. I mean any non-fatal interaction with a cow sized spider is good luck.

4. Cows taught (like teaching bears "dancing") weird step patterns to avoid bullete / sand shark / death worms attacks. Each generation needs a new step pattern to avoid them learning

5. Kids ride some of the cows and use the horns as the arms of a oversized slingshot to defend the herd

6. The bones are sold to a mute mouthless people that come up from the earth , assemble the bones , dress them in old rags , breath into them , and walk them down below. They pay in something that hopefully is honey. 

1 comment:

  1. this is the greatest thing i've read in weeks, gladiator fishermen and electic pole stilt shepherds are getting into my next campaign