Wednesday 18 May 2016

Hell Knights

Print Friendly Version of this pagePrint Get a PDF version of this webpagePDF Knights are terrible and are a rudimental example how the nature of human society  is a process of  choosing  the least unpredictable but still terrifyingly dangerous thug to extort you with a protection racket.
And by choose I mean.. prob something quite unlike what we normally think of "choice" and more like "harrowing extremes of desperation"

Anyway knights are terrifying assholes with weapons and armour that cost more than your village (the people anyway) and exemplify the moral identity of your culture while more or less operating above it.

At their very best they keep bad things from happening to you because of their potential to do bad things back. Hopefully at worst things , or atleast far away things.

Some of the time they will  do bad things to you. This will be your fault.

At the worst  they do bad things to you because they can .  The idea of knights is still more important than you so whatever happened to you doesn't matter.

Hell Knights are worse. Somehow. Maybe it's because people can learn to accept and understand why knights are important and why they do things. Hell Knights you will never be able to.
 Yet ,somehow , their nature makes you want to accept their actions as just and reasonable even as the unsense of them snakes in you like cold rotten oil.

Maybe some created them as a "dark mirror" , to make people realise how shitty knights are.  If someone did this for this , there is only a sliver of success in it.

Maybe they are result of a concept diffusing to its furthest point.

Or just demons in mocking iconoclasticism, or devils in insidious  mummery .

Maybe they are a bit of Nothing dressing up as the world and getting it wrong.

DRYDROWNING : domain : interzones: fog , tide, twilight Punishes the unvigilant , the vulnerable, the unprepared Those that will drag others down when they drown
Wields: Isolation , Crushing thine mantle:  salted and moaning iron
WRACK: domain: broken things that spread their breaks ; dams, exhausted fields, fallen borders punishes: the neglected and the neglecting  wields: crack hammer, entropy thine mantle: choke coal

WARFLOWER: domain: shifting borders, no man's lands, contested and conquested land punishes: the victors at rest wields: fields of broken blades, weapon womb thine mantle: brittle blade hide

GRIMGUARD domain: tombs, monuments punishes : remembrance , irreverence wields: grindtongue, winds of loss thine mantle: heart chilling stone

THE HOOK: domain: promises, roads punishes: the trusting, the confident wields: your words, hooked needle and fate thread thine mantle: organ seeking horror hair

GORILLASLOUGH: domains: feasting, the leftbehind punishes:the lazy, the hungry, the desperate , the indulgent wields: wasting hands , the devouring of air thine mantle: ablative sick glazen dough

Thursday 5 May 2016


Print Friendly Version of this pagePrint Get a PDF version of this webpagePDF THIS IS HOW IT WORKS

Mole Moles
oh no it's not a mole on your skin it's a mole it moves around and is hairier than usual but with softer hair.
They eat parasites and infections so if you have made a bunch of saving throws against them recently you prob have Mole Moles. Oh god . Some of these moles are actually spies for Jubilex. So they are mole mole moles.

Organ Snakes
As a form of organ replacements snakes are fine. Everyone knows this. However they require special care and maintenance.

Brain : Any time you take a direct approach to something you need to make a saving throw or lose a point of intelligence. If you let your snake out at night it will eat books. This means you have read the book. There is no accounting for the taste of a snake though.

Liver: any successful save vs poison heals you 1d4 hitpoints. Poison never really tastes that bad or unusual to you.

Stomach: After a big meal you can sleep for a week. Chewing food  before swallowing it will make you nauseous.

Heart: You don't ever really get that excited or frightened.

Kidneys: You piss causes plants to die.

Womb: Snake or mostly snake babies.

Lungs:  No-one hears you breathing. Whenever you specifically tell people that you are telling them the truth it sounds really suspicious


It's just meat , what does it do? it's red it's not organs or muscle how did it get here? It's an IOU a flesh elemental is borrowing your particulars they'll be back any moment.