Tuesday 22 November 2016

Important

Print Friendly Version of this pagePrint Get a PDF version of this webpagePDF I used to think the name lich should be entirely replaced with "skeletor" but actually , no that's terrible. I mean anytime you think of using a lich you should just use Skeletor , but no liches should not be called skeletor's that's ridiculous .
HOWEVER I RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING NOMENCLATURE







Aerial servant : Cloud Goon
Anhkheg:  Hate-Mole
Beetle, giant : Insector Rex
Black pudding : The Chubber
Blink dog : Time Wolf
Brownie : Gomorrite
Bugbear : Shaggy Badtimes
Bulette : Dirt-Shark
Carrion crawler: Corpse-Sucker
Centaur : Manhorse
Cloaker: MkUltra
Couatl : Secret Serpent
Dragon : Horse
Dragonne : Suck-Beast
Dragon turtle : Gamera
Ear seeker : Brain Worm
Eye, floating : Scream Eye
Eye of the deep : Drowning Bell
Fungi, violet : Tubscelant Rotter
Gas spore : Exploder
Ghast : Sicker
Ghost: Space-Vomit
Giant : Daddy
Gnoll: Superdog
Gnome : Knob
Goblins: Tickleboys
Gorgon : Ambombibull
Gray ooze :Slunk
Green slime :  Prasinous Illness
Griffon : Mess-Bird
Halfling : Manlet
Hippocampus : Sea-Pony
Hippogriff : Donkey-Bird
Hobgoblin : Henrys
Horse : Lobotomized Brute
Intellect devourer : Escaped Brain
Invisible stalker : Secret Murderer
Irish deer : Hell-Moose
Ixitxachitl : Bastard of The Sea, Sea Bastard
Jackalwere : Garbage-Dog
Ki-rin : Elder-Dog
Kobold : Daniels
Lamia : She-Beast
Lammasu : MellowLord
Lizard man : Plutonian
Locathah : War-Fish
Lurker above : False- Ceiling
Masher: Knife-cod
Merman : Mermaid
Mind flayer : never use illithid "illithid is their name for themselves" no-one cares about their feelings, we don't have to learn this word, don't try and make these dollarstore lovecrafts seem Eldritch or whatever. They are man with a squid for a head that eats brains , that is both the description and bio of a toy a kid made by glueing their toys together, it's great 
Mold : Beard
Morkoth : Hynosquid
Neo-otyugh: Poop-Bluto
Nixie : Shellycoats
Ochre Jelly: Danger-Goo
Ogre : Bethany
Ogre mage(Japanese ogre) : Bethany-Chan
Orc : Sly-Simons
Otyugh: Poop-Popeye
Owlbear: Trash-Beast
Pegasus : Power-Elf
Peryton : Pain-Deer
Piercer : Stalagfight
Pixie : Sodomite
Portuguese man-o-war, giant : Tentacruel
Pseudo-dragon : Peep-Peep
Purple worm: Conquerer Worm
Quasit : Bad Idea Brian
Roper : these are a mess anyway CaveCops (thanks Nick)
Rust monster : Wrickets
Sahuagin: Sharkanoid
Satyr : Mangoat
Sea lion: Ocean-Savager
Shedu : Dude
Shrieker: Unfungus
Skeleton : Skeleton
Slithering tracker : Sucking Chyle
Spectre : GodSick
Sprite : Catamite
Stirge : Needler
Strangle weed: KillWeed
Su-monster : Brain-Ape
Sylph :SkyVixen
Titan : Ultra-Masc
Trapper: Unwelcome Mat
Treant : Thug-Tree
Triton : Aquaman
Troglodyte : Piss-Newt
Unicorn : Ponylord
Vampire : Batman
Water weird : Ghost-Snake
Will-o-(the)-wisp : Blights
Wyvern: Ultra-Vulture
Xorn : Dirt-Ghost
Zombie: Smelly Doug

4 comments:

  1. I think I might actually start using Escaped Brain, Brain-Ape, Sea Bastard, Conqueror Worm, and Time-Wolf. And Tickleboys is a great name for a goblin gang.

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  2. I WILL USE ALL IF THESE I HAVE HEARD THE ONE-HANDED CLAP AND AM NOW ENLIGHTENED

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  3. I've been thinking how uncomfortable the name "tickleboys" makes me and the answer is very.

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  4. also renaming ropers "Cave Cops" is actually one of the less anachronistic changes, cop meaning to "catch, seize hold of" dates back to 17th century England, prob from middle french "caper"

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