Wednesday, 27 February 2013


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 D&d has pretty much sold me on trolls being gangly , wack proportioned  , flailing limbed monstrosities. Like Trollhunter was cool and all, and that  deep well of myths of lumbering oafs of cave , bridge and lonely road, but to me , they are a ludicrous green maniacs.

Flightless Bird
 I was going for the creepy "giant albino penguin" thing. You know like birds that start losing their birdness and reveal this quite quietly completely insane thing.  Like how horrible baby birds look, or chickens , or the look in the eye of an eagle when it is not currently killing something and that is completely flipping out internally from the outrage that there  could be a single second where it was not killing something. Like it offends its dignity.
Okay this is not that eagle. This is an awkward waddling thing that in every gesture it reminds you of all the things birds do , and it isn't doing any of them, its weird and somehow it is making you reconsider birds as normal things. They are not. They have a single claw in the middle of their face and no other features to speak off, except 2 unblinking eyes on either side of their heads. They make more noise than seems possibly for their size. They do not have hair, instead they have these absurdly elaborate structures  called feathers which they shed like they shit, ie all the time. And lastly the feet , which have been the go-to for monster feet for countless artists in countless artists. Because they are monster feet.

 Comparing Wights to Vampires, I can imagine both being a menacing solo monster , the bane of a spooky village. The vampire will talk , and it will charm and it will surround itself in the trappings of wealth, and then shock with its bestial bloodily hunger .
The wight will climb out of bog and scream and kill and scream and kill and make more wights and they will scream and kill and then just lie down in the torn up bodies and soiled food and ruins and just lie there for years and years until someone else shows up to scream and kill and scream. It is an entirely intelligent being that acts in such a way that it would be delusional to describe as bestial, for that suggests something that approaches being relatable .

See The Grudge, The Ring etc
 Man this guy came out so cute I don't even know.  Did you know that the t-rex in the original monster manual has a claw/claw/bite attack? MADNESS
Spirit Naga
 There is 3 kinds of naga in the book they all somehow fail at being interesting . Like their schtick is being a snake or having snake like stuff. There is already snakes to spit poison and bit poison blah. They need something their own. Mythologically I'm really vague on them, but they strike me as one of those creatures that gets defined as this one thing, when it's actually like trying to define a jerk or a fuckhead.
Like Taniwha , or fairies, or Oni, or Jinn,( or dragon for that matter)
Some white dude just wants to have a nice clear picture of  what they look like for the "The lads big  book of ignorant superstitions  of the colonies" and here is all these people going

 "well some fuckheads are fuckheads because they steal your shit. But other fuckheads are fuckheads because they piss snakes under your bed. But this guy I know had a fuckhead working for him, and he was great. He still was a fuckhead though. What ? No he didn't have a goat-ass for a face. What gave you that idea? I said he was a fuckhead not a shitwipe. You're getting confused with that shitwipe who had a goatass for a face, because he was a fuckhead as well, seeing as his mother was a massive bitch and his dad was the north wind."

I thought spirit naga had stingers but that is dark naga. I gave it a stinger anyhow but then decided to ditch it and use it for a scorpion. Try drawing a snake with a scorpion stinger, it's really awkward some how.

Thought Eater
Quick (rhetorical) quiz: what powers did the brain mole , thought eater , and intellect devourer have? Can't remember? Me never.

In other news I have my camera again. I still hate it. Oh and I'm doing a residency at the Concerned Citizens Collective in Wellington for the month of March. Won't be these guys though will be this stuff


  1. The Wight is fucking terrifying, and the dinosaur. I think its actaully pointing at me right now, the dinosaur is like you are one of those plastic coverings over a screen, and you were pressing down on the wight just to get all the cuteness and sillieness out of it, just grinding it into a knot of pure fabric terror, and then all of the supressed stuff just pops back up in green plush. It's like the happiest fucking dinosaur ever, I want to hug it through the screen.