more post post apoc tables

Print PDF okay so more about post post apoc. This is my go-to setting when I just want to use everything and not do any more world building than "there were technology but you have to sword stuff like dinosaurs and carnivorous cars because radiation".
"Radiation did it" is even more fun than "a wizard did it" because it requires even less explanation.
And by "radiation" I mean "glowing stuff that breaks reality in cool ways".
Zach (not to be confused with Zak or Hcaz) is running a stalker (its a movie apparently) / Road side picnic (not to be confused with a road side picnic) game on g+, and it has the radiations everywhere.

 It makes a perfect dungeon world (not to be confused with dungeon world), ie it creates traps, monsters, and a spooky ruin, and explains various out of time/dimension character drop ins and various anachronisms that make up any sensible fantasy world.

Side note about why David Lynch sucks*: random stuff that seems to have a secret mind bending coherence behind it is a great start. But if you just endlessly generate random stuff it becomes dream like. Dreams are kinda stupid. Like you are going to this sweet candy castle because there is a party but then you start talking to a pony and the pony turns into a hat and then you are going to school in the hat and FUCK IT I WANNA GO TO SWEET CANDY CASTLE but no now you a dolphin BUT THE CASTLE okay cool you see a castle but you need to make a t-shirt and..

What is some next level jerky is when the weirdness builds on itself. You get to the castle, and then are a princess but have to fend off the dolphin drills and make friends with this witch but she has a mirror twin controlling the dolphin drills but then you find out that the mirror twin is the original and the daughter of the architect of the candy castle who is evil and been made into the mortar to make the castle and the dolphin drills are working with the original witch because they sense the evil from the castle.

etc.

*this is a way that David Lynch sucks, he overall is very far from sucking, but watching Fire Walk With Me I was disillusioned with the realization that he was just adding whatever content seem cool and there was no secret depths to it , other than the illusion of some via apopthenia.

So fleshing eating taxis and explanations for flesh eating taxis. Explanations are awesome but use them to make "more" rather than "less". Like an explanation for flesh eating taxis that is "oh you dreamed them" is less stuff. An explanation that is "because demons" is more, if you then proceed to ponderulate who makes demon taxis, can they be ridden, what happens in a demon taxi car scrap yard , are they voltron demon taxis etc?

Anyway, this post post apoc world that I ran a game in.
There is a money system, ala d&d  copper coins is bottle caps, silver coins is coins of various countries and values, gold coins is trading cards and platinum coins, credit cards.
There is no centralized bank or any plausible reason that various tribes and bands have unified their trading system like this (yes, this is a less explanation. I don't care, treasure is stupid ), but each group might have something they value muchly.

THIS PEOPLE, WHAT SHINES LIKE JEWELS TO THEIR GREEDS?
1. Why plastic dinosaurs/animals/insects. Duh
2. Dolls clothing/ Pegs
3. Polyhedral dice/ Keys
4. Christmas decorations/cathode tube screens
5. Notes of money, made into origami animals
6. Pencils sharpened down to a nub
7. Fountain pens/capacitors
8. Salt and Pepper shakers/ human hair
9.Obscure kitchen utensils (like fondue forks, ice cream scoops, olive pitters) / miscellaneous poorly made religious tack
10.Wave sanded pieces of glass / preserved tattooed skin
11. Fake teeth/ obscure furniture
12.Light bulbs/books/maps
13.VCR tapes/records
14. Shoes/ empty pill packets
15.Picture frames/ tupperware
16. Mirrors/circuit boards
17. Soft toys/ photographs
18. Seeds/sample squares/lens from spectacles 
19.Candy/used batterys
20.Suitcases/ make up

BUT WHY?
1. Decorating their scarred but handsome forms
2.They do not care for such things themselves, but believe others will at some stage and are trying to control the market
3.Building Materials
4. Art objects , for display as conversation pieces and culturalness
5.They are researching the shit out of these things
6.Their fecund beliefs hold these things as sacred
7.They weaponize or plan to weaponize these things
8. Roll twice, both results are applicable. If you roll an 8 again, roll trice etc.

 OKAY SO WHAT WERE THESE GUYS CALLED AGAIN?
(roll once and take that number from each of the 3 tables or roll on each table separately, you might wanna shuffle the word order around so it makes more/less sense)
Plural
1:Children of
2:Hand(s) of
3.Ghost(s) of
4.Followers of
5.Chosen of
6.Pack
7.Tribe
8.Consortium
9.Congregation
10.Clan
11.Mob
12.Beasts

Adjective
1. Wrathful
2.Whispering
3.Ponderous
4.Pulsating
5.Undualting
6.Snickering
7.Dancing
8.Kind
9.Flayed
10.Crismon
11.Shattered
12.Gibbering

Noun
1.Plain
2.Tower
3.Forest
4.Dream
5.Mickeys
6.Gourmets
7.Gallows
8.Pile
9.Void
10.Stars
11.Party
12.Strength


So a 12 would give you Beasts Gibbering Strength, which could be used like that or Beasts of the Gibbering Strength or Beast Strength Gibbering etc etc.

And the temperament of the people?
WHY I HAVE SPEND TIME WITH THEM AND THEY ARE:
Roll on the table,
or
1d6 on 1-2 roll once on the table , on a 3-5 roll twice and on  a 6 roll three times.
and if you wanna more complicated:
 roll another d6 for each temperament, and on 1 they pretend to be the opposite, and on a 2 this temperament is wildly known and on a 3 this temperament is widely known but they are not actually like that at all.
 IF you get the same result, reroll or ham it up to a punishing degree
1. Thieving
2.Warring
3.Boisterous
4. Scholarly
5.Welcoming
6.Xenophobic
7.Deceitful
8.Cannibalistic
9.Mercantile
10.Hippys
11.Fanatical
12.Naive
13.Morose
14.Paranoid
15.Decadent
16.Superstitious
17.Reckless
18.Childlike
19.Fatalistic
20.Flirtatious

OH HO HO AND WHAT ELSE?
1.Why steeds of the land!
           1.Racing Snails
           2.Cockroaches, their wing cases forming a cock pit like an early race car
            3.Terror Birds/Flightless Flamingos/Moa/Vorpal Kiwis
            4.Giant armadillos/rhinoceros/triceratops
             5.Motorcycles/bicyles/unicycles/all terrain shopping trolleys/segways
             6.kangaroos/giant grey hounds/ Frogs
2.Why Steeds! Of the Sky!
      1.Pterodactyls!
       2.Condors!
       3.Floating Jellyfish
       4.Sky mantas
        5.Bats
        6.balloons
3.They have senses uncanny!
      1.Sonar
       2.Telepathy
        3.X-ray vision
        4.Can smell lies
        5.Can taste your past
        6. Hear 3 second echoes on everything
        7. Bamboozling Stare
        8.Danger sensing eyelashes
4.They have prehensile HAIR
5.They are all CONJOINED TWINS
6. Their hands? ANIMAL HEADS
7.They are highly knowledgeable about UTTER BULLSHIT
8.Their shadows? That of BEASTS
9.They always play instruments
10.They have clocks mounted in their skulls
11.Drug addicts, every last one of them!
12.They eat soil like the lowly worm
13.They have replaced some of their organs with junk
14.They will never turn down a fair wager
15.Unnaturally young ... OR OLD?
16.Part of them is a butterfly/candy/cactus/crystal/ooze/cloth/tallow
17.They can digest ANYTHING
18. They dispose of their dead by suspending them from kites tethered to the tallest buildings
19. They know the way to the land of the dead!
20.One in four of their children is highly explosive


THAT IS DELIGHTFUL, WHO IS IN CHARGE?
1.The succeeder in a trial by combat/debate/board game/hunt/sports
2.Anarchy, collective decision making processes are in charge!
3.A line of succession
4.The chosen of a sacred parasite
5.The one who can operate a sacred/vital/cool machine
6.The one with the best future seeing
7.A small elite group
8.Roll twice and combine results


HOW ARE THEIR WAYS IN THAT OF WAR?

roll on this table  or if needing something more bell curvy roll a d6 and on 5-6 roll on this table and a 1-4 give them some generic weapons, 1 being basic as, 4 being well equiped.
 THEY USE
 1.harpoons and sickles
2.Glass machetes and throwing discs
3.Red hot pokers and burning dust
4.Ice guns and hammers
5.Dogs on sticks and throwing cats
6.Acid water pistols and thorn spears
7.Skulls on chains and flaming barrels
8.Sling shots and flick knives
9.2 handed cleavers and cabers
10.Piranha cannon and chains
11.Stinging nets and pikes
12.Bolas and fungal attack pigeons

OKAY WHAT IS THE HAPS RIGHT NOW?

1.They are freaking out about a monster
2.They are needing a new leader
3.They are having a huge party/ritual/rite/trading day
4.They are planning on moving
5.They are freaking out about a looming  disaster
6.They are starving
7.They are grieving because half of  them died
8.They are preparing for war
9.They have found a great treasure
10.They are about/are currently meeting with another tribe for tense diplomacy