Velvet Hooks: Boa Boy and Boa Constructor

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More Velvet Hooks.

This series will be interspersed with other post topics but right now I don't have anything worth doing a full post on.

Also? , I'm no longer going to bother trying to label the hooks as "expanded content/original content" , as it seems arbitrary and not useful to try and divide them like that.

I'll keep the "pretty much in the text" one though.

Boa Boy:

The head of a child, the body of a snake, a simple abdead* servant . What could go wrong?

1.Boa boys are used as guards in well off houses. But where to put them? Lurking in vases , like the snake charmers money maker? One option is a fake safe, maybe being obviously hidden behind a large painting. Such a safe has boa access at the back . So when the safe is opened by intruder , the boa boy is waiting to pull them in , with the door engineered to swing shut afterwards

2. Eccentric Aristocrat with dozens of Boa boys holding up his train. He often needs to replace them , as he's prone to make wagers about his ability to shoot a glass of sherry balanced atop the head of one of his unfortunate boa boys.

He prefers Boa boys with eyes that aren't quite blue or green.

3. A Boa Boy of rare intelligence and an insatiable desire for vengeance. It murdered its first owner, making it seem like an accident. From there it moved on to another house, replacing the  Boa Boy on staff there . The "replacing" involves the current Boa Boy being set free, enlisted to  help, or if they prove too loyal  ,being killed and disposed of.

4. A isolated mansion with its owner succumbing to an heart attack. The Boa Boy staff are a particular witless example, and keep the mansion running as if the owner was still alive, rather than mummified in the tea room.

5. Certain Boa Boy are made and  sold off , but with a certain magick in their creation, sneak out at night to report back to their creator, who is slowly building up quite the blackmail portfolio,

6. Someone has let loose an illness as to have more dead children , as the poor often sell bodies they can't afford to have appropriately disposed of . The engineer of the blight doesn't need the resulting Boa Boys, they are just the byproduct of an extensive study in which the line between undead and abdead is to be understood.

*"abdead" using the term from China Miéville here as to define an animated corpse that isn't powered by necrotic energies , instead magic is used to restart and maintain its biologys.

Boa Constructor:

A vast snake with a maw full of clever hands. Makes itself a very important figure via trade and specialized construction, as to provide for its vast appetite

Encounters with Young Forms  (and pretty much in the text already)

1. Xanthic Snake: A series of brutal forest traps designed to isolate and maim , so allowing the Xanthic to gorge easily.

2.  Pavonated Snake :As above but instead of maiming, the trapped are then engaged in attempts at conversations and attempts at bargaining.

Griseous and older , expanded upon:

3 A mysterious shop sells strange and complex weaponry.   Examples are a thing like a elongated zither that will snap one of its metal strings like a bull whip, or one which resembles the fiendish child of a sextant and a scythe that will launch sharpened discs slicing through the air. Each weapon requires unique ammunition and this shop is the only place where these can be found.

4 In the treasure horde of some fabled beast lies a suit of armour. Constructed of starmetals, dragonbone, and the rarest of nights gold, it however is currently ripped nearly asunder. The construction of the armour is such that only by finding the original creator could there be any hope of seeing it repaired and modified to fit another. Spoiler Alert :  The creator is a giant snake with arms for teeth : o

5 Have a major villain or obstacle to the pc have custom armour, but if you can find the snake and bribe it , you will learn its weaknesses, Snake in question has "retired"  , having reached its maximum size and build a palace for itself.

6 Final Form of a Boa Constructor : so when they reach their maximum size a Boa Constructor will retire to its elaborate custom made palace. However this palace is actually a  womb  , factory and massive egg. It will slowly dismantle the Boa Constructor  painstakingly peeling nerves from muscles, etc, and then interlace the nerves unto a new massive frame of rubber, silk , steel , and wax.

The muscles are then attached to an engineering nightmare of levers, cogs, pulleys, and chains.

After an entire century the palace egg will hatch, revealing a Boa constructor the size of a castle and more mechanics than snake. Its frail flesh now spread like a fine web through out its bespoke colossus.

This Boa Constructor Omega will find an city that has is the right mix of vulnerability and viable potential. One that's relatively easy to take over ,  but still has the potential to  become a cultural mecca with a giant robotic snake running it.

This final form is less interested in food as it is knowledge, any city it runs will soon become renowned* for its libraries and universities

*I mean the MechaBoaConstructor overlord will likely be the first thing mentioned in conversation but the next thing is going to be the libraries and universities

Velvet Hooks: Bedlam Birds and The Blathering Bird

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It continues!
Also this book has a lot of birds in it, I'm not sure if it was because I happened to have included a disproportionate amount of birds in the images I gave Patrick , or if its because the birds that were in it were very personable.
Regardless , here's 2 more of them .

Bedlam Birds
Horrible skull headed malevolences , possessed a fiendish cunning, excellent mimicry and an inexplicable ability to always know if they are watched. Everybody hates  them

Hooks that are pretty much in the text already
1.An isolated settlers cabin, barricaded , parents insane* , their kids trying their best to tend to them.  The kids will let the players in to help , but only if they can see them (they've learned to never trust only what they can hear). They will describe laughing long skulls in the dark and beg the party to save them from them.
2. A village will enlist the party to hunt down some graverobbing, church desecrating, cultists. It's actually a Malignity** of Bedlam Birds
3.(hex filling/encounter) Two bands of long feuding armies are seen working closely together  , searching for the Bedlam Birds that have bedeviled them both. However Bedlam Birds are staying just out of reach and each night will mimic the voices of each , crudely trying to manipulate them to turn on each other
4.A search mission the players are on can be exacerbated by Bedlam Birds following them and mimicking the voices of whoever the party is looking for
Original Content Please Use
5.The ability of Bedlam Birds to always know when they are being watching , is tantalizingly potent ability. Alas as the Bedlam Bird will never co-operate , it is effectively useless for anyone else. However a Wizard and talented Psilord has attempting to isolate the ability , and will pay vast sums of money to anyone who can bring them to him alive.
6.So that Psilord? He was trying to turn Bedlam Birds into a fleshy tube with the bare minimum of brain and an eyeball that would blink when spyed upon. In his attempt to do so something went very very wrong and no further communications have come from his tower. So there's a whole tower of value just sitting there now , with nothing but it's wards, two dozen Bedlams Birds, a bunch of things that used to be Bedlams Birds, other lab experiments, and whatever happened to the Psilord and his apprentices.

* the book doesn't give a duration of the insanity, but let's assume healing magics or abilities of level 3 or higher can cure it.
** the collective noun

The Blathering Bird
A bird that would be renowned for its powers of retention and recall, if it wasn't even more well known for never shutting up .

Hooks that are pretty much in the text already
1. (hex filler/encounter) a Blathering Bird on route between one settlement to another. Useful in the sense that it can lead you to the next settlement and give you news about the last one, less usefully in the sense it will never shut up and attract additionally encounters.
 Expanded upon greatly
2.The most obvious one is to have the Blathering Bird know something the party wants to know. The way to make getting that information interesting  is to require the Blathering Bird to have its memory "jogged" . I.e physically escorting it through the series of locations and events that lead to it getting the information desired in the first place. 

3.A prison has Blathering Birds kept in cages above the prisoners communal area, as form of torture, surveillance, and mental disruption. At the end of the day the Blathering Birds are moved to a communal cage . There they are looked after by individuals saint like in their patience, who record in short hand anything new the Birds have learned, before committing it in longhand  for the overseers of the prison. But this routine has been disrupted by the sudden murder of one the Bird-tenders and the theft of his log book from his home (off site from the prison). The Crown Jewels had been stolen a month previous to this event, could one of the thieves involved be currently serving time for a unrelated crime? Does one of the Birds know? How do you go about finding the one Bird that does know? 
Original Content Please Use
 4. Villages spread out along dusty badlands that use Blathering Birds as a way of keeping up to date have send notice to royal authority that Birds are coming back to their village , completely unwillingly to talk about what they've seen. The location and timing of the reports is suggestive of something moving towards more populated areas. There are now concerns.

5.Blathering Birds are actually good defenses against some forms of telepathy, as their brains are the equivalent of very loud white noise generator 

6.A technique has been developed to store information in Blathering Birds and have it not recalled until the correct conditions are met.
 The  technique involves subjecting the Blathering Birds to a very bright, very loud , very sudden piece of theatre. The piece must around 3 minutes in length and cannot be mere chaos, it must have characters, plots, character arcs, and a resolution, all while using unique music and costumes.
At the exact middle of this , everything is stopped, and the information is clearly stated  to the Blathering Bird. Then the piece continues til its resolution. The Bird will be so overwhelmed , so interested in everything , it won't be able to know which bit to talk about first, and it will immediately have a fit. Once it has recovered from the fit it will have formed a "mnemonic cyst" around the information. It will be unable to recall any of it , unless its exposed to the exact same piece of theatre again, in which case it will blurt out the information at the half way mark.

Velvet Hooks: Atrocious Crows, Azul

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More hooks from and for Fire On The Velvet Horizon

Atrocious Crows: 
Walking birds with a depressive call,  capable of scouring humanity from the inflicted and leaving only amoral marauders. 

Hooks that are pretty much in the text already:
1Their feathers "eat" light, valuable to make into exceptional thieves cloak , shield and contain objects of dangerous radiance
2.In the darkest cells of the royal dungeon , is a circular pit lined with Atrocious Crow cages. Spies, conspirators to regicide, and holders of the old faith are sentenced  to  being lowered down into this pit for a precise amount of time; enough to experience despair  but not long enough to become an Atrous-man
3. A land has become lost , blustering villages and tight knit towns have become empty , home only to the passing bands of atrous-men.
4. (hex filler) A lone very tall , very hallow pine, with a dozen atrous men living  inside it, surrounded by a mire* of Atrocious crows. One used to be a legendary sage who knows things no other knows. But which and how to get him to willing to recall the knowledge?
5. (hex filler) The sound of manically rung church bell and loud festive music can be followed to reveal wedding under siege by Atrocious Crows, lead by multiple Empty-Men. While some of the wedding party are now catatonic and huddled under tables, the majority have holed up inside the church. They have  boarded up the windows and doors, and are drowning out the caws by ringing the bell and playing festive music as loud as they can. For now they are managing to keep it up, having had to improvise several instruments broken from the extended playing, but it is unlikely they will outlast the bitter patience of the Empty Men
Greatly Expanded Upon
6.The Atrous-men command the Crows with language unknown to all but dismissed as mere noise. However rare samples of a written form of it exist. Further more records of a collapsed ancient empire refer to a book written in this language, and the book was seen as valuable enough to ruin this empire in the attempt to obtain it.

*the collective noun of Atrocious Crows is a "Mire"

Azul:
Blazing bugs carried to earth on thunderbolt, doomed to die unless they can once again climb skyward.

Hooks that are pretty much in the text already:
 1.Clouds are hives for Azul. And like bee hives, there's a honey "Phlogiston". It's extreme dangerous, unstable , and somewhat counter-intuitively, valuable
2.<encounter> A frantic Azul chasing a storm , leaving a burning swathe behind it
3. If you need to get a sky-palace , storm fortress, or cloud garden the least feasible and practical  way is to find a downed Azul, wait until its latched onto a lightning bolt, and ride it , as it rides itself, back into the sky. However such a dangerous and nigh inconceivable plan has one thing for it, who would think to guard against such a fool's quest?
4. "Its ghostly organs are worth incalculable sums" The containment measures to keep it fresh and puissant are also a considerable amount  , but what interests us today is the damage  unleashed if they are tampered, and the gathered auction crowd present who would be subject to their damage, and that's about where the job offer begins to your p.cs
5. The lives of the storm and the Azul are linked. If an Azul can be captured and maintained beyond its own to do ,  then its storm will also be maintained. A storm that does not end can become a significant problem.
 Original content please use
6."Perhaps as the Azul lives in the air, once long ago its ancestors swarm within the earth and stone." Well turns out those weird rock echoes of the Azul aren't  its ancestors, they are its parallels in stone rather than sky. And while the Azul moves at a lightning pace, these earthen brethren , move at geologic pace. A matter of mere academic interest?  
Well it would be but a particular academic , whose particular unhinged, happens to be investigating what happens if you cast a lot of haste spells on one. Other more reasonable minds are very concerned about this , and are looking for a rag-tag band of resourceful individuals to find him before some new mountain ranges start popping up.

Velvet Hooks : Anemone Men , Ants Of Neutrality

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 I continue to see write hooks for Velvet Horizon, using what I can find in the text and making shit up when I can't
Anemone Men:
The long dreaming polyp men with deadly soporific stings.

Hooks that are pretty much in the text already:
1.Guards: to counteract the advantage that could be had by observing their sessility and making preparations , they could be placed after a flooded tunnel connecting two rooms via pools in their corner. Thus preventing easily electrocuting , burning , smoking them out or starting combat with a volley of missile fire.
2.Their Venom as a cure for Insomnia: Either tasked or hired to find one and getting the venom , or a  character is afflicted by a magic curse of sleeplessness.
3. Looking for someone who was looking for the venom: An important npc known to suffer  from insomnia was last known to be seeking out the Anemone Men before they disappeared, possible due to getting knocked out by them and is now asleep in a damp cave somewhere.
Greatly expanded on
4. The "blue world" that surviours of the venom report dreaming of , turns out to be a pocket dimension , in which has been hidden secrets to the true nature of the world. The world is not without its guards and obfuscations though.A successful trip to the world hinges on finding and interviewing surviours of the venom to piece together a map of the blue world.
5.(wandering encounter) An Anemone Men has ripped the eyes out of some poor soul, and has approached the party seeking their aid in returning the eyes to the being who apparently survived but fled.  The eyes appear to be made entirely of precious stones with near inconceivable level of craftmanship
Original content please steal
6.A city is suffering from a sleeping plague ,where-in people sometimes fail to wake , and remain in deep dreams, seemingly in distress.  The cause is a village of Anemone Men has moved into tunnels that feed into the towns aquifer , and thus their chemicals have tainted the water.



Ants Of Neutrality :
grumpy little legal minded conformists

Hooks that are pretty much in the text already:
 1. Wilderness encounter: the terrain becomes increasingly ordered and geometric , leading to the nest of the ants of neutrality.

2.Collecting the ants for use as magic-suppressing device

3.Someone valuable to the party has disappeared while riding a horse ,very drunk.  The horses returning home with very very neat braids suggests  the Ants have captured said person and will soon put them to trail.

Greatly Expanded upon
 4 A design for a powerful anti-chaos weapon requires Ants of Neutrality , a device somewhat like copulating of a sextant , a cannon, and a prism. The design has 2 versions. One which the ants antennas are mashed to a pulp and boiled down to crystallize. The weapon shines the light of order through the crystal which acts as lens. This is the lesser version. The greater version involves having an entire nest peacefully living inside the machine. But this requires obtaining a nest and transporting it without stressing the Ants by exposing them to chaotic engine, or they won't survive the trip.

Original Content please steal:
5.A powerful chaotic force is contained behind a vast vault door, with some of the locking mechanism by the presence of a hive of Neutral ants. However recent events in the city have exposed them to a form of chaotic engine the terms of their contract don't cover. So they are claiming breach of contract and will be leaving soon, resulting in the vaults integrity being compromised
 
 6.The Ants of Neutrality, a minor nuisance of the Mute-Chalk Plains, are freaking out like the proverbial canary in the goldmine,  suggesting a vast chaotic event is nigh.  By comparing the degree of freaking out the direction of said event can be determined , and thus giving the first clue.

Velvet Hooks

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HOW ARE WE ALL ?

The post kickstarting doings are being done at a steady pace , the country is beginning to ease the social restrictions , and I have for you a new blog post series that will hopefully keep things regular around here.

This new series entails my favourite  (un)dead horse , Fire On The Velvet Horizon and giving you hooks for using all the monsters.


But before that , a quick note about the process of the book:
I gathered a range of art I had done, in a broad of a way as I could manage, including finished pieces with barely started, pieces I loved, and pieces I was embarrassed by . Patrick then respond to the ones he responded to, and sent me the writing, which I might accept, suggest changes or additions, and  in a couple of times reject.
One of the desired outcomes of the text , to which I made suggestions in aid of , was that there would be obvious hooks on how to use the monster.

So this series will also mean I will revisit that goal  and see how well it accomplished it.
I will note which hooks , to me, seemed easy to draw from the text , and which ones I'm in fresh territory. 


ABHORRER
The slug that uses civic law as its invincible shield

Hooks that are pretty much in the text already:
1. The Abhorrer has purchased an enslaved genius , the only one capable of solving the vast hyperdimensional locks protecting the vaults of the treasure moons. The Abhorrer will have them counting sand until their wits fail them.

2.The party reaches a city of renown for its wisdom and love of justice in order to seek the aid of their armies. However an Abhorrer has twisted its way into the courts of the city , and has snared up the courts with endless petty cases. Its poisonous presence hasn't yet sunk the cities leaders into apathetic cynicism, but each passing days is a drop of corrosion on their vigor and virtue.

3.To rid itself of an Abhorrer , a city has collapsed into sheer bloody anarchy , the courts aflame , open warfare between a dozen or more factions filling the streets. However the Abhorrer has hidden itself , like an encysted parasite in rotten flesh. The party is tasked to find it and kill it, at risk from rioters,overly zealous military, or any number of factions liable to mistake them for their rivals.

4. Another city seeks the path of law to rid an Abhorrer. While the Abhorrer is physically protected by law, and evidence of its wrong doing inaccessible through legal means, its powers won't be able to protect that evidence from extra-legal means, i.e the party. The relevant civil authoritys can't be official connected to the party or be shown to have directly  hired them , but through use of catspaws, anonymous drops, and arranged  "accidents" the parties services can be directed and rewarded. 

  Original material please steal:
5.  In a sinking city, one whose new buildings lay foundation on the roofs of old, a vast case against an Abhorrer is being made.  Ancient books of law must be obtained from ancient archives deep down in the old city. Among the dangers of mammoth book lice, guardians demented with age, and demi-real book beings,Abhorrer hired mercenary,  are the undead librarians zealously punishing anyone breaking the silence.  Also for your Library megadungeon needs

6. A small frontier town begins to be able to pay adventurers/the party to clear out monster lairs, establish trails and merchant routes, etc. The Burgomaster funding it is actually a front for Abhorrer  , keen to have a metropolis grown up around it.

AESKITHETES

Weird beings from a microworld. Masked , social and flanged.

 pretty much in the text
 1. An Aeskithete curator , buys art and books , pays with unusual materials  .

Hooks in the text , greatly expanded upon
2 . A vast and ruinous war might be coming to an end, if a facilitator of impeccable ability and complete neutrality can found. To that end , the party will be offered a significant reward to be magicked to the microworld of the Aeskithetes, brave the dangers there, and convince an Aeskithete to abandon its peers, and its entire generation in order to secure a lasting peace.

3. The true heir to a throne was absconded by usurpers. While the usurpers have been ousted , the heir is still missing, and it is unlikely stability can be found without them. An investigation of the possessions of the former usurpers points towards the incredibly impossibility of the heir being trapped on their own skin. Aeskithetes must be found and recruited to allow such a impossible journey.. Note that some contrivance must be order to allow the heir to still be alive, despite time passing quicker in the micro world. The heir might now be ruling a new kingdom or have sired a dynasty.

   Original material please steal:
4 World destroying events are a foot  .Meteors, vast artifacts falling from the  sky, unpredictable changes in the atmosphere. A mad solution is advanced. Find the magics that allow the Aeskithetes to expand into (for them) the marcoworld  and use them to ascend up to the marcomarcoworld and adjust the events directly

5. Books sculpted from keratin indicate the presence of Aeskithete library.  One is a catalog and it lists many otherwise lost tomes of civilization altering knowledge. The colour of the keratin is distinctive and if one  can find the being whose hair matches this colour, then one can likely find this library.

6.A character is struck by magically irrevocable wound or disease. But! Help shows up in an Aeskithete from the characters very skin, their civilization foreseeing the end , sending one of their own to bring their host unto the hosts very skin and do battle with the source of infection directly!  

Guest Post by Pliny The Elder

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 I mean DISPLACER KLAUS brought me this and he says it's from Pliny The Elder and who I am to doubt that chuckling rascal?

GREATER HOOT-BEAST

 The lovely and solemn Hoot Beast roams the plains , sustained only by smells . It is thus dependent on the numerous wild flowers and fragrant trees in the pyrrhous  lands. Unusually it does not  sniff the flowers like a thoughtful man or suckle at them like the bee, it instead draws them down their scent from the wind, numerous leagues away from the source.

It is thus provoked by unpleasant smells , sometimes chasing down and trampling the source of them , though when encountering the dense reek of man's settlements they will flee .

The nomads of the Pyrrhous  Plains lure them with perfumed youths and shear the wool from them after the winter months which they use for many purposes,  most notable their spherical hats, which they keep birds of various martial and social purpose.

SATAN

Here is a Satan , its appearance here has been crafted wading through a vast river of soul chyme where it plucks the juicey congealments that have made it through the mastications of the Gnawing Gates.

A Satans size is variable , and is known to be both like a common wading bird and a striding colossi. Its temperament is like most in New Plymouth ; cruel and disagreeable.

It is provoked by hats of all kinds and will make great fuss before commencing violence, plucking at limbs and flinging such grasped great distances .  It however is known to vastly over-estimate its ability to riddle

TABULARAPTOR

 This bird is fierce king of the Pyrrhous Plains and unlike other avian, strikes not with beak or claw but its flattened body, which is like a single blade.

A eagle or hawk will descend directly on its quarry , but the Tabularaptor will descend first at distance and come low , slicing through leg. It returns then when exsanguination  has rendered the struck into a stupourous placidity .
Its method thus forewarns by the falling of grass and stalk at a short distance.

Its nests are not made in cliff but hollow tree, rolling itself like scroll to rest such in.

The Nomads here thus fear dead trees yet strangely do not take measures against them. It is said that they owe their freedom from horse raiders to the Tabularaptor, as a single walker can lie prone evading the bird , but a ridden horse has no such recourse and will surely be victim .

The borders of the plains are indeed marked with short towers , constructed with horse skull and bisected femur to serve as grim reminder of the bird's great feast that was the end of every cavalry lead expedition here.


HUSKY GOBBLER


A simple sand sifting beast, that travels in herds among the many dead rivers along the plains.

None of its dead form can resist decay, crumbling to dust in days. Therefore no part of it can be used for construction or craft.

It is said that raising a Husky Gobbler on food that is not the silt on which it customarily consumes will mean it will not have this property .

The theory is that rocks have a "solid essence" giving them their form , and as fire has cold as its opposite, the silt has an "erosive essence" which is stored in the Husky Gobbler's body.

Indeed the nomads will serve the meat as poison to those that abuse their hospitality.
Eaten, such meat will sustain for a day or 2 , but then create 5 times the hunger it abated, causing such horrors as men eating all their clothing and then biting their own fingers off.

While peaceful , harassing the Husky Gobbler will cause it to sneeze a fine dust with such force , that skin will be abraded off muscle and muscle off bone.

VERY BAD PIG
 


It is stupid except when it is cunning, and cowardly except when it is audacious.

It is so appalling that it vomits from its rear and coughs up dung like a cat does hair.

Rank corpses arose its carnal passions and a Very Bad Pig sow will need to anoint itself with the most putrid of decays in order to distract the male from shit-fighting.

It is said that it was made with all that is terrible of the bear , wolve, cur , boar and bigamist.







 Updated to have sources and change the name of purple plains to pyrrhous plains because that was a place holder that I went with and then went , nah yeah that's fine , and then 20 minutes later hated it

art sources:



Hoot Beast https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macrauchenia
(originally Robert Bruce Horsfall)

Satan
https://store.safariltd.com/collections/sale/products/wild-safari-wildlife-spoonbill-figurines-224829


 Tabularaptor:
it's a Argentavis magnificens and the image is everywhere 


 Husky Gobbler:
stock art of platybelodon herd , originally by Corey Ford

Very Bad Pig
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daeodon
by Jay Matternes

THe Remaains of the Joke

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Here is the rest of them. WHAT? see here and here and here and here
It's looking at the monsters and making up a reverse of them and occasionally it's great.
It's so good it's nearly distracting Arnold from his dutch smiting.

THE ORIGIN STORY OF ARNOLD K
(he's both the merman and then hubris of the dutch)


Dwarf 
Grobby: A funny little guy that pops out from a hole in ground and offers to craft a single mundane object for modest price . The object is actually a cluster of eggs that hatch in 6 months into something like a rotary drill bit mole-rat. If confronted about this fact a Grobby is upfront about yes , that's going to happen , would you like a discount? 
After hatching these attempt to drill into back into the earth , spiralling through any intervening structures (though they get disoriented if up more than a story and can do a lot of damage before they work out where down is. The eventually adult form of these looks something like a massive starnose mole, with the very tip of its nose forming the "funny little guy"

Eagle, giant 
Wig vulture:
Why would anyone want massive wig with vultures living on top of it , constantly chewing on bones? Because one does not want to appear to be an oik

Ear seeker:
Sneeze ghost :
You know how when you sneeze , people try and cast spells on you , supposedly  for your own good?
That's because a small crap version of you made of snot can escape and they are trying to stop it escaping or possibly capture it. The point is you don't want a snot-you blabbing confused versions of your secrets to someone, so always check your hanky after sneezing for one, and if necessary grab that struggling mucus boy and force him back in

Eel 
-Mossyguy
It's a little cute pangolin with moss growing on it that has little naps. There's a lot of these to do that are animals and it's gonna be pangolins

Efreet 
-Snowball
it's a little snow guy that shows up to help you when your are lost in the snow. It's basically useless though but boy does it mean well

Elemental 
,well I did these?  I think they might of corresponded to the 5 stages of grief?  Oh and these okay one more Dismantal : elementals from stuff that doesn't exist.
Not even plausible stuff like glass, these are KnifeFoam (like pumice but polymorphous and sharp) , Bugparts (bugparts) ,  Grot (stains that possess everything) Pissance (Like Rotten Cloth and dog noses) moving on

Elephant : 
I'm remembering this shitty kids joke about why are elephants big, grey and wrinkly ? Well if they were small, white and smooth they would be an asprin . No , the opposite of an elephant is a Flea-Knight , it's a little flea dude the size of a raisin that has the strength and durability of a regular knight, but as it's concentrated down it can kinda jump through your head

Elf 
I feel like it's Shameful beast from the Ramanan-Sivaranjan-Awards-for-Excellence-in-Gaming winning book Fire on the Velvet Horizon now available in hardcover

Ettin 
Hecatoncheires

Eye of the deep 
Mouth of the sky
a jelly bag splitting open into a hooked mouth, the mouth opening and opening into a peeling back over itself to reveal the same grinning bag form. Hypnotic to watch. Sometimes planar wars dump strange machines and dying beasts out of the sky, and there's only so much time before Mouth of the sky come and eat it to nothing. Maybe a defense system of a plane, a clean up crew of another plane, or dominate scavenger roused only for these "whalefalls" 

Flightless bird 
Cloud lice
it's like a louse but cute (and the size of a dog) Clouds have them and sudden weather changes can strand them on land. They are intelligent and resourceful and will set about making some connivance or contraption to get them into the sky."You help is very much appreciated good sir, I just need 12 metres of cow tendon more , I can repair you once I'm home, you see I fell out of the cloud without my purse"

Frog, giant 
Pademelon :
look your players won't know what this is, just use one.

Fungi, violet, + some other fungi slimes etc
Crystal Grot:
Various types of crystals that grow on you like fungus, pulling emotions out of you to form themselves.

Gargoyle 

Freckle swarm. They live on you like fish swimmin aroun

Gar, giant 
Raggling, a rotten cloth cat. Adorable , but smelly. Bad at basically everything

Gas spore 
Spike snake
It looks like a deadly spike but it's a harmless snake holding itself straight. Except for its poisonous bite , that it's trying to save for bats.

Gelatinous cube 
Chainchomp
a bitey ball on a chain that you can use like a dog or a flail

Ghast 

Parasitic skin cream

it's good for you , except it wants you to eat babys

Ghost 

arsehole future baby
a floating psychic baby that claims it's descended from you and needs you to do stuff but not other stuff. Prob lying.

Ghoul 

Boneflower
Hermit crabs that use bones as shells and clinging together in flower shapes for inscrutable purposes 

Giant

lilliputians
you know, those guys

Gnoll

Flower people
They are flowers but walking around being pretty vague. You could reskin myconid even. That sounds pretty excited huh?

Gnome

Needley dee
A skinny little traveling tailor waspy person that can sew things together or shut to defend itself.

Goat, giant 

Spring loaded pocket goat

Goblin

talking hats

Golem 

people that have been shaped into furniture or tools and are still alive and feeling bad about it I imagine

Gorgon 

Oasis Giraffe of Kindness
A gentle giraffe cactus that creates oasises will it selps

Gray ooze 
Quartz Speckle

sucks out despair ! you become foolishless happy while all these crystals burst from your flesh

Green slime 

Ruby Jagger
sucks out peace! Red spiked fury man

Griffon 

2 legged walking horse

Groaning spirit (Banshee)

The Good Boy
The best dog that everyone is happy to see

Halfling 

Joyless Grey Man
A horrid little hair-eater, like a corpse made of lint with disappointing raisins for eyes.

Harpy

Canarywife
it's a happy little bird that shows up in your life and helps you get your shit together. Like personal trainer but an abusive magical bird 

Hell hound

Joy-pig
this is lucky pig

Herd animal 

Questing BEast
Legendary animals that there are just one of and sometimes are responsible for everything being bad and sometimes responsible for everything being good. Hearts often associated with cures.

Hippocampus

Puffer fish protective helmet

Hippogriff

A centipede made of guns

Hippopotamus

Skinless ghoul otter

  

Hobgoblin

Living Bubble

Homunculus 

Dreamegg
it's an egg that will hatch something you dreamed about, but you are never sure which aspect of your dream is gonna hatch

Horse 

Barrier Beast:
a giant bear that sleeps alot and blocks roads

Hydra 

Running Snake:
fast and powerful

Hyena/jackal

Stitcher bird builds nests on people

Imp  

Jiminy cricket , or a disappointment giant

Intellect devourer 

superfist! s u p e r f i s t

Invisible stalker  

Neon-eye-destroyer
something  so bright it can burn your eyes clean out of head baby

Irish deer  

Small palm tree man

Ixitxachitl

Mayan Hypno Spines/crystal skulls encouraging head planking

Jackalwere 

someone made of birds like a scarecrow but birds

Big Cat Jaguar:

Super Python 

Ki-rin /Lammasu

Mouse deer with weird granny face that smokes and visits places and every one has to be polite and she asks after everyone's family

Kobold 

Ceiling-Geist; A weird stain being that watches you

Lamia  

Someone with a mouth under their hair

Lamprey

Hair cleaning birds

Larva see demon/devil

Leech, giant 

A feather than sticks itself in you and you think everything you can do is because of the feather

Leprechaun

Agnes the ruiner. Like very old apple in hobnail boots and loves arson

Leucrotta

A peacock mink

Lich  what if Lichs and lions swapped appearances? 

Lizard 

Weird giraffe monkey

Lizard man

skinling wart people

Locathah 

Catfish carpenters

Lurker above 

Diversion, like a generic goblinish koboldish impish thing that shows up and draws attention to itself at the worst possible time

Lycanthrope 

Animal that remembers its past life occasuinally

Lynx giant

parrot dog

Mammoth/mastadon

micro mammoth

Manticore 

mother goose

Masher

sky jellyfish

Medusa  

feel like we kinda did these in velvet horizon, but a lizard made of hands that gives you super bad Pareidolia

Men 

rumour people
everyone almost knows them!

Merman 

people crudely remade to be able to live underwater. 

Mimic 

Cimim
it's a mimic but it always makes itself look like the most of out of place thing it can think of , like a wheel of cheese in ancient tomb or a rotting puppy in a libary

Mind flayer 

The opposite of a mind-flayer is basically every towering nuggety bastard from Fist of The North Star

Minotaur 

Brindle-Fly

Morkoth 

the reason there is so many redundant underwater monsters is most of them are so boring the original creators kept forgotting what had been made already and made something new

Feng-Shui Pangolin

Mule

A balloon

Mummy 

a baby in some kinda weird fucked up womb amber and do you wanna smash it or see what is being done to it?

Naga

See hydra or boa-boys out of Fire on The Velvet Horizon 

Neo-otyugh/ otyugh

Flower-brute

like a shambling mound but with flowers grow on it. Like a garden that can beat you into mulch.

Nightmare

Gorilla O' dreams
it's a Gorilla that can travel in peoples dreams there is so many entrys

Nixie 

Truth-coming-out-of-her-well-to-shame-mankind
but can be any well buddy. Put on the city events tables.

Nymph 

Sheer 
body horror monster that messes with what turns you on. Like it repulse you with it's messed up body but then later you think it's kinda hot and then later nothing else is attractive anymore

Octopus, giant

Tiny star squid

Ogre

Brittleman/Brittleman lanterner
Like tall bone lattice giants, that only defence is the glass shards that they break into when struck. Lonely pilgrims wandering the roads at night , searching for missing stars in the sky . The lanterns have magic lanterns and know prophecies but are loathe to tell people them

Otter, giant
A regular otter than lives in the sewer and occasionally disembowels people via their anus

Owl, giant

this thing

Owlbear

A skinny bear covered in fly wings

Pegasus 

Feet pigs
They have human feet

Peryton

Perching stag women

Piercer 

Balldestroyer , bouncing boulder

Pike, giant

pipe fish

Pixie  

Really loud frogs

Porcupine

Dog that can squeeze under things

Portuguese man-o-war, giant 

Tree horse

Pseudo-dragon 

Ape-wizard

Purple worm

Scribber-pede
It can draw with its legs and make its drawings come to life 

Quasit see imp

Rakshasa

A socrates

Ram, giant 

sheep that are actually just wool

Rat, giant (Sumatran) 

Mouse musician

Ray

barnacle

Remorhaz 

why did these do so much damage?

snow crab

Rhinoceros  

sumobeast

Roc 

bird eating elephant

Roper 

grease tree

Rot grub 

tomato sauce

Rust monster 

Shiner-Snail/cleaner slug:
it eats rust and slowly moves along rusty things cleaning them

Sahuagin   

Eyeless albion cave dolphin

Salamander 

gnome , creepy .Like inner earth aliens

Satyr 

A goat librarian

Scorpion, giant 

Pseudoscorpion, jewellery

Sea hag

Desert stone smith

Sea horse

but can fly

Sea lion   

fuck these things, shark horse

Shadow 

Light ghost, those phospense

Shambling mound 

Bone garden

Shark

Spam

Shedu see lammusu

Shrieker 

recording crystal water

Skeleton  

bile boy
like a jelly baby made of bile

Skunk, giant

Perfumer
a butterfly but magic and evil , i'm getting over this

Slug, giant 

salt-king

Snake, giant 

see walking snake

Spectre

Vector:
a meat shadow that makes you so health you freak out and start seeing through this mortal realm and burn people your eye lasers

Sphinx

Giraffe

Spider 

beaver

Sprite

see pixie

Squid, giant )  

see octopus

Stag see herd animal

Stirge   

blood blimp

Strangle weed 

symbotic flower

Su-monster   

Us-monster

Sylph 

see  Nymph 

Thought eater 

earworm, factchecker, rememoryer

Tick, giant

gas bag

Titan

village god

Titanothere 

the same but cute and small

Toad, giant  see frog

Trapper see lurker

Treantman: 

living streets

Triton the most redundanet monster entry is having 2 other good/neutral races other than mermaids in the book. underwater races are not something you will use a lot of, goodish vague-as races that don't do shit you won't need, and here's boring fish people and boring aquamen. Mermaids you can get murderious, or horrible or more or less fish like and its the best

the opposite of these is a Murderer

Troglodyte

Extrovert 

Troll

The crumbing sage

Turtle, giant 

miniture castle turtle

Umber hulk 

Azure-Flit

Unicorn

Black Phillip

Vampire

Aide

Wasp, giant

Brain bee

Water weird 

a dust storm that follows you round and makes statues of you

Weasel, giant 

wall badger

Whale

sky ribbon

Wight 

see spectre

Wind walker 

Dirt Bird

Wolf 

Dog

Wolverine 

Bumble bee

Wraith

see spectre

Wyvern 

Zilent

Xorn 

Gold Bug

Yeti 

Organ grinder and monkey, both the grinder and the organ are machines

Zombie

Sleeper
people of civilisations that don't exist that are sleeping forever unless you wake them, then they get all confused and sad and possibly try and take over the world

"MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T LIVE BELOW SEA LEVEL YOU WOULDN'T NEED WOODEN SHOES HAAHAHAHA I'M ARNOLD , ALSO YOU LIVE IN WINDMILLS "